dUrAsTiK
Finally hit this track
When i here my fans
As i roll up in my Benz
I know i am ready

Dood when i step on stage
I don't need my script page
All of my lines are remembered
Unlike you - Your disremembered
When you here me hit my lines
You feel like your life is on 2 small vines
Because my lyrics are explicit
And your's are illicit
Agaisn't the law
Get it through your head - YOU suck
You will never be as good as pac
In that case no one will be
But with your skill
You make my little brother sound ill
So when i get on stage and you here me fans
Always remember, get your own style
and act like a projectile

Wow that went a little But give me some feed back.

I really liked your idea but it fell off a bit. I think you should practice your structure a little more, try writing longer lines and change up subjects and I'm sure it will be tight..Keep it up man!

>these lines I thought could have been different to make it flow better<
All of my lines are remembered
Unlike you - Your disremembered

Because my lyrics are explicit
And your's are illicit

You make my little brother sound ill
So when i get on stage and you here me fans (this part is the only one that doesn't have a word to rhyme with)
Always remember, get your own style
and act like a projectile

Yeah this was ok....your structure needs some work though, try making the shorter lines a little longer and keep the lines around the same length so it helps suppor the flow in your pieces....try adding some multies to make it better as well....but keep at it.

Ight boyz, thanx a lot, i got a audio collab commin up wit muh girl NoCtUrNaL and i will port the ltrics here, so you guys can see if i got any better

Ay I live in Maine too.....Portland reppin

Dats coo nigga. I live more near augusta. you got aimt or msn add me (AIM)>>BxBxVz (MSN)>>Nitro_gliseren@hotmail.com

you aint got shit on this bring it if you think you got the right raps to put me to rest

Lol you's a hata bitch. You wanna battle call me out in Front Lines >> Bitch Slapped.

see you are ill with a side of nyquill

i'm cold like frozen water
tell your gurl sorry i forgto to call her

Lol ima callyou out in bitch slapped front lines

i'm a new comer i need to know how first bitch and slapp your momma for biten my dick last night while i was on the bed,
while she was given me head so front me on the front lines and i will school you a lesson on rappen, with the right ryhmes so you'll stop wasting everyones time.