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Old 01-17-04, 12:42 PM   #1
Dimense
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Frustrated

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Ventin with Emotion

Im tired of resigning from entirety..inspire me
The irony expired when desire changed to rivalry
Its time to be confined..so I retire from society
In dire need of higher creeds..Messiahs lost their piety
Contingent individuals have misconstrued the rituals
That used to be the vision of the scriptural editions
The residual officials of religious institutions
Just epitomize the problems that are stifling solutions
Ive encountered the abuses that account for the intrusions
The amount of insurmountable conditions is obtrusive
FUCK authority Im sorry, but the Democratic party
Aint investing in your future..there attesting their seniority
Reality has battled wit the challenges of fallacy?
But EVERYTHING that matters has been battered to a casualty
The cowardice has flowered into vast amounts of power
For example, check ya stampbook that commemorates the towers
And the phoniness continues..after everything weve been through
Is your wedding ring material, or something you commit to?
Do your children even matter Is divorcing just a fad?
If the baby lives wit mommy, is she gonna see her dad?
All the patriots surround me like a fake abyss of proud?
Am I the only one who hates to be a face within the crowd?
Especially the kind thats loud and ignorant without a doubt
Its fuckin sick how many pricks have got their head above the clouds
And I could vent until Im dead about the sentences youve read
But thats a temporary phase because the worlds about to end?

Thank You
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Old 01-17-04, 08:26 PM   #2
Menik
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This was pretty good i thought....liked the opening of it....the structure in this was alright, could be fixed up in a few spots but it was alright....you had some good flow in this i thought, flowed pretty well....had some decent multies in there....nice vocab....keep at it.
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Old 01-17-04, 08:31 PM   #3
kidaver
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shit i dug this piece the worplay was very nice. i would like to see growth topical wise but on all levels this piece is mos def a must peep
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Old 01-18-04, 12:50 PM   #4
R*O*B*B*
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this shit was ill.....u shud make it in2 a whole song
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Old 01-18-04, 07:16 PM   #5
Dimense
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Thanks for the feedback... uppin for some more views
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Old 01-19-04, 02:05 AM   #6
As5a5sIn5
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Dimense that was some pretty dope shit,
I liked the vocab, multis, wordplay, and it was a nice topic overall,
flow was alright I would need to hear it to a beat but pretty nice,
and as R*O*B*B* sed...a whole song would be cool...

P.s-Return the favor and vote on Synidals battle vs. As5a5sIn5 (me) in my signature..
Honest Vote..
Thx Peace
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Old 01-21-04, 12:55 PM   #7
~HoTTie~
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Dimense....I Didn't Even Know You Did Open Mics Or Topicals...But You're Very Good At Them.

You Were Consistent With What You Were Talking About, You Didn't Change The Subject Like Most Do. Your Vocabulary Usage Was Good. I Loved Your Multi's..Especially The Opening. I Feel You Put Emotion Into This And It Shows Throught The Writing. I Give This A 10/10. Plus...The First One To Reply Said Something About Your Structure..There Is Nothing Wrong With It..

Dope Piece. PS...Check Your PM's.
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Old 01-24-04, 04:21 PM   #8
Dimense
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up for more views
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Old 01-24-04, 05:03 PM   #9
Wise Mynd
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I liked this piece nice vocab and good flow. i give it a 9/10
peace.
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Old 01-24-04, 05:11 PM   #10
villagepimp
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I thought that shit was tight. I agree you should make into a song. I'd like to hear it.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SPuL
^dude it's poetic, what did you expect? He believed his ex still loved him after cheating on him with 9 guys and 1 girl.

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Old 01-24-04, 11:14 PM   #11
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I mIght ^ its kinda short uppin
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Old 01-30-04, 06:01 AM   #12
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