how about it, u.s the freedom is hot like a boiling pot, variety of cultures/
livin the dream o so it may seem, but not me, i aint that worthy of dis oasis/
family migrated from the mexican occupation, only future is our generation/
born american but heart still stays in technochitlan in the pyramid of da sun/
got aztec bloodties so strong dat make you say stupid shit like limbaugh/
on the air, i spread this message, the american dream is a nightmare/
freedy krueger be the elites and the teenage kids be da minority/
black and brown been let down, orphans from their dog pound/
enslaved to pave the way for this north american continent compound/
who built roads to success, we did; breakin our backs for a little snak/
not enough to fill our love shak; so anyone down with them get back/
i'm about to make yall feel the math; this goes out for yall coconuts & oreos/
white in tha inside and black or brown on the outside livin a lie/
how you gonna live supporting this white aryan pride; till i die i be da nemesis/
their presence full of apestalance; blood of my natives stained the frontier/
these silent killers know how to wipe out and bust a genocide right befor our..
eyes the murder lies hidden like a bitch inside a cake waiting to pop out..
with a big surprise.. i'm out throwin da dice till i hit snakeyes and begin..
a white man's burden into a demise; gods from da heavens cry/

yo dat shit was NICE....i dont even no wut else ta say cept for NICE....u had some tight ass lines especially ya 8th and 9th lines.....i feel u.....keep droppin.... ~1~

Yeah this was alright here....structure was ok, probably should try to shorten your lines down a bit cause they seemed stretched out though....you had some good flow in there, but it fell off at times i thought....had some good vocab....overall it was alright...keep at it.

try to even up your lines a lil more..it would make it easier to read..played topic..about America is not perfect..we all know..anyway..vocab was aight..not great..but not bad either..Im still tryin to figure out what rhymed with the first line..forced similies and metas..over 5.5/10

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R.I.P. Bodie