i aint lookin to start no beef
ur lucky i dont no u or else id introduce u to my heat
ill distroy u faster then a fat kid eatin a rice krispies treat
sorry dont mean to dis tha fat kid
i should be makin funna u, ur the only one here with skids
so before u retaliate just remember
i dont wanna be a member if u say ur free styles are the shit
when in actuality u pre-write 98 percent of it
but if ya want just gimme ya best
so bring it gimme tha test
but i dont wanna be like the rest
rest in peace , tu pac, after
the bullets hit his chest
so motha fucker dont start to get all delirious
come on man im tryin' to be serious
i dunno why u gotta be a queer like this
i said it before, i plan on bein the product of a diss
so just say what u gotta say to retaliate to this
i dunno why ur gettin pissed
just gimme whatcha got
and post ya best shot


well im out i gotta goto work (quick one tell me what ya think and what i should do to improve)

simplistic, below average, put more thought into your work

..That's a bit harsh..Just Die~~~

i aint gonna bother going into detail... it needs to be upped, add some multis and internals, carry the rhyming further, also up the vocab.... and your better off with a good strong topic, thats interesting...and work on ya syllable count..... so work on it....