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Old 01-23-04, 05:51 PM   #1
Dev
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SS: Common Sense

IP: 07E0 A9F2

It prevails in situations where hesitation enters ya mind
And defined as the times when ya contemplating is it right
Unconfined by boundaries, only reasoning with ya self
Cos you decide is it worth it, is the risk worth the wealth
Its exerted in stealth, unseen, unheard yet part of ya health
What else tells ya fire burns, without needing it confirmed?
It can’t be learned, cos its felt, a response designed to help
And develop awareness so that disaster doesn’t envelope
So life isn’t unsettled, with avoidable problems prevented
Implemented through a voice saying “should I really revel”
“Should this be done”? Or is it the wrong route to embezzle
Cos if ya meddle with the sound of reason ya on ya own
Cos this’s what irons society, prevents the creases from showing
It atones to the expected and the correct way to go on
Controlling people from going that step past the obvious
I don’t condone, its not commodious unless it follows home
Cos like a loan its conditioned, but by ya mind what’s ya own
That tells you whether ya should or shouldn’t perform
The act or the circumstances that ya was thinking bout throw’n
Cos alone it comes down to one factor overlooked, but immense
And that’s the underestimated emotion called… common sense!
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Old 01-23-04, 05:59 PM   #2
Penskills
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..This was very good(even for you)..your flow was one of the best I've seen from you in recent history..very good content..although I must admit..your title(does not match you..since you have none ) other than that..DOpe..
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Old 01-23-04, 06:01 PM   #3
Dev
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thnx i think...lol.... im all 'common' sense, cos im a working class bum....lol...
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Old 01-23-04, 11:51 PM   #4
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wow...immaculate flow, I really enjoyed that.
the words flowed so well they seemed to overlap.
a few of the rhymes seemed forced, but it still sounded okay.
your content was so-so, but you stuck right to the topic.
there was a serious lack of multies, they aren't really necessary, however they make you piece look and sound a lot better.
Your internal rhyming was very well done, though you scheme was rather inconsistant, it was still quite dope. It's cool to try to work in the topic throughout the piece....you talked about it throughout, but made no actual effort to put the phrase into the main body of your writing. If you develope the topic as a pattern element, it really amplifies the meaning you are trying to convey.
Also, try topic flips. Don't go with the exact meaning of the words in the topic you're given, fuck around with em a bit, re arrange them, spell them out, see what you get. Sometimes your piece can end up being about something that noone else would have thought of, and then you get originality points.
just some advice.
nice piece though, this is one of the first I've read from you, quite impressive =)
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Old 01-24-04, 06:18 AM   #5
Dev
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thnx... i normally use alot of multis, but i got to into the topic....lol

Last edited by Dev : 01-24-04 at 06:25 AM.
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Old 01-24-04, 06:20 AM   #6
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Flowed perfectly and vocab werent bad either! dope! true dopeness...loadz of multis, which made it even better..keep droppin homie!
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Old 01-24-04, 01:25 PM   #7
Dev
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thnx... appreciated...
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