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01-22-04, 03:54 PM | #1 | |||
"The Eleete"
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Day & Night Pt. 2
IP: FAD9 BD2A
Before anything I wanna give thanks to Trapt Wit for the Inspiration on this piece and for allowing me to post my new version of it. Thanks dawg. 2 Things inspired me when writing this piece...one was Trapt Wit's Night & Day piece. I tried to keep Trapt Wit's piece alive in this one so everyone knows where the origin of this piece is from. When you read this you'll see what I'm talking about if you've read his and if you haven't read it I recommend for all to read. Second was Eminem's Low, Down, Dirty song. I wrote it to the beat of the track as well as borrowed a line from it for my chorus.
-Day & Night- Part 2 Written by: ELEETE Inspired by: Trapt Wit [Day] From the first day a ray o’ light shone through my window// It was simple: to love an cherish you was my mental// This life so gentle, blessing me every step of the way// Time goes by, but it gets better everyday// Day to day I pray, and thank the lord for all I was blessed with// Express my emotions through the music I was obsessed with// Never depressed with, my attempts to make a better me// To do what is right an stay away from negativity// Live legitimately, respect everyone like a gentleman// Cause in my life, sadness is irrelevant// Never tasted hate or had to come to defense// Never experienced it, so to talk about it wouldn’t make sense// Happiness immense, this world must be filled with perfection// No detection of rejection cause of the color of my complexion// My confession, I love the world this way// An i must say....I would never want to see Night if this is Day// [Chorus][2x] [Day] Its Day an Night, [Night] Night an Day// [Day] 2 sides of the coin, [Night] Which side will you play?// [Day] I was Mr. Hyde, [Night] Today, Dr. Jekyll, disrespectful,// [Day] Hearing voices in my head while they whisper echoes// [Night] Since the beginning I saw this was ending// Ina tragic death that end like those of many// Constantly fucked over an shitted on!!!// This shit is wrong, so why do I seem to get it all?!!!// Maybe it’s god? That hates me an doesn’t want to see me progress// That’s why i think this anger an hate in me I was born to possess// I feel I’m oppressed, by a constant sense of negativity// People say my styles wack an that they wasn’t even feeling me!!!// This shit is killing me, eating me alive from inside!!!// I look to the sky, my last resort an I ask "god, why?"// I get no reply, it doesn’t matter no more I give up// I’m fed up!!! With all the bullshit god had for me setup!!!// No longer attempting to get up, ill stay down this time// An keep writing about suicidal tendencies in my rhymes// God I think its time, for you to shine light on my life// Cause if I could I would give up mine to get rid of this Night// [Chorus][2x] [Day] Its Day an Night, [Night] Night an Day// [Day] 2 sides of the coin, [Night] Which side will you play?// [Day] I was Mr. Hyde, [Night] Today, Dr. Jekyll, disrespectful,// [Day] Hearing voices in my head while they whisper echoes// [Night] Fuck life, no matter how hard I try ill never get far// [Day] You can do anything, no matter whoever you are// [Night] What the fuck? How would you know what I can an cant do?// [Day] Cause everything in life is all up to you// [Night] Man fuck you!!! You Don’t know what the fuck I been through!// [Day] True, I don’t, but you don’t have to live this life if you don’t want to// [Night] Man its not something I choose, don’t you know I’ve been cursed?!// [Day] What? Been cursed with the artisticness to express your emotions through words?// [Night] This is why I hate Days, bitches like you blocking the way// [Day] I’m sorry you feel this way, but you’ll soon see the errors in what you say// [Night] Is this kid gay? Your obviously a waste of life// [Day] Attacks on sexuality aren’t nice, but ill still respect your rights// [Night] You have no spine, but how the hell are you so much like me?!// [Day] Because I’m the other side of the coin, cant you see?!// [Day & Night] How come I was blessed with a life so gorgeous// The same way I was blessed with one so worthless!// [Chorus][2x] [Day] Its Day an Night, [Night] Night an Day// [Day] 2 sides of the coin, [Night] Which side will you play?// [Day] I was Mr. Hyde, [Night] Today, Dr. Jekyll, disrespectful,// [Day] Hearing voices in my head while they whisper echoes// Last edited by ELEETE : 02-09-04 at 01:59 PM. |
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01-22-04, 05:24 PM | #2 | ||||
Banned: Spamming
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IP: 4577 CD9A
..Your color fonts gave me a headache...but other than that..this was a decent piece...I must say..Trapt piece was a lil better though..anyway..good flow..decent scheme..overall..a decent piece...read my "Dear Journal"...peace..
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01-25-04, 05:37 PM | #3 | |||
"The Eleete"
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IP: 41B0 4E7C
Uppin for some feedback...........thanks Pen!
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01-25-04, 09:07 PM | #4 | |||||||
Flyweight
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IP: C4AB 9642
Good idea, though you mentioned it wasnt exactly your creative idea...none the less, this was nice...Good metaphors and nice theme....I liked the imaginary and I liked how you worded things...This is a dull feedback but good piece, flowed well..
Hit mine up too... http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=109651
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MC Murdera' (RB's "ill" MCs) Otherwise known as Artikulate |
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01-26-04, 05:36 PM | #5 | ||||
Flyweight
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...
IP: 5502 12A2
damn man...this was pretty tight...the way it played out and went back and forth in the concept was off the hook...keep it up 1
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The only defintion that matters... Word Definate N Slik Shadow Vs. PROOF N Teflon NO SHOW BITCHES : Hit_Man #
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01-27-04, 06:47 PM | #6 | |||
"The Eleete"
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IP: 41B0 4E7C
^^^^Uppin thanks on the feedback^^^^^^
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01-29-04, 07:42 PM | #7 | |||
"The Eleete"
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IP: 41B0 4E7C
Uppin ^^^ Cmon Peeps
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01-30-04, 12:43 AM | #8 | ||||
Eddy.
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IP: 77D5 6AAD
Realease his nuts , * my day & night piece was better lol!* nah but seriously ..realease em.
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Fuck you |
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01-30-04, 09:30 AM | #9 | |||
"The Eleete"
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IP: FAD9 BD2A
Once again another hater, You need to read my Not Enough To Be A Dope Emcee, its dedicated to people like you...
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01-30-04, 10:55 AM | #10 | |||||||
New to RB
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IP: 5561 4772
it was a nice verse...i liked how you spit it but the font colors were makin it a little confusing
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01-31-04, 02:35 PM | #11 | ||||||
Banned
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IP: 5043 32F4
i like the exchanges between night and day lines....pretty consistent flow, nice wordplay.. what can i say...i like most of your raps man, the chorus in this song would sound nice on audio, keep up the nice work... :}-~
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01-31-04, 03:05 PM | #12 | |||||||
New to RB
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Well done
IP: 04E0 7BDA
Very good. makes me want to hear it audio. Easy flow to recognize, this has good versatility it can become a poem, or a song, and a duet eiasily . Yeah.
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