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02-09-04, 05:35 PM | #1 | |||
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Crossing the Street
IP: A9A7 727D
pouring salt water into the wounds of society
may clean them out, but it calls for unpleasant feelings. ...you could be a little friendlier about it. swearing with a smile tends to be more understandable ...at least to those who cry themselves to sleep. wryness is never mistaken for sincerity, so don't try to pull that shit with me. All my friends sprung a leak when I pushed a little harder, and gained a little weight. it made my subject matter a little heavier, than light as a feather. don't worry so much about your significant other. Instead, let's rehearse for the end of the world. Sadly, the protagonist always gets the girl. Sometimes paranoia seems to be plotting against me. My suitcase is full. Note: this was stream of consciousness rambling in my notebook. pay no heed to it's poetic value.
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Life isn't a bitch... she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis |
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02-09-04, 05:47 PM | #2 | |||||||||
one wink
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IP: A552 E1D0
You should really ramble some more.
I think that's when you (a poet, not just you) shines. Quote:
Quote:
More of the out of no where writings Maven. More More More. |
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02-10-04, 08:12 AM | #3 | |||||||
Middle Weight
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IP: C97D D2CD
The first line I liked alot, it had alot of meaning. Then after that you just confused the hell outa me, but u did with "intelligence", which made it fuckin awesome. The vocab was very strong in this one, and it fit with the poem well. messages varied, from very deep to very confusing. Feelings also varied, from "wow thats deep" to "What the fuck does that mean?". It was very unstable but i guess thats what made it original. I definetely liked it alot. like said by the person before me, keep writing, ill be sure to keep reading.
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Po'Ethics.
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