Listen hoe.. Im gettin sick of all the attention for me your giving
Cant you see youve released 4 disses now.. And your still not winning
Nice opener, personal
This bitch.. Has nothing better to do than sit and type out pointless disses
Cant you see fucking idiot, that all the punches youve thrown are misses
alright, a bit played
You dont know.. You havent heard what people say about you behind your back
'Kaos Theory is an arrogant bastard'.. and.. 'Wise Ways really is wack'
liked this line, nice punch at the end, made me laugh
Everybody hates you.. Do you want to know why two people just left your crew
Well.. Hate to break it to you son.. But those two dope heads left because of you
another good line, also made me laugh

This mother fucker tries and fails.. Like a retarded horse trying to jump a fence
After this you'll be dead and gone...
... So im speaking of you in the past tence
alright lines,, horse line a bit played,i think. past tence tho nice!
Even your own mother hates you.. But the only reason your not disowned
Is because you mother feels sorry for you...
... Always insists your not fat your just big boned
lol.
Fat bastard and fast food eater.. All you do is put on weight
Your so love-struck by food...
... You think McDonalds is your fucking soul mate
lol love this line, made me laugh.fav line.
Silly hoe.. Nobody listens to you at all.. Especially 'When You Speak'
Can tell you wrote your Open Mics...
... Because like you they are weak
ok line.
By saying.. 'U just need to shut tha fuck up & shut ya wack mouth'.. You really took a gamble.. Just rolled the dice
But in my opinion you need to read it yourself...
... And take your own fucking advice
nice, fliped him. lol
Nobody likes you.. You dumb fuck.. Why dont you wake up and see
You never used to drop Open Mics.. So quit it and stop tryin to be like me
also nice ender contrast him to you.
ok nice diss.

lol this piece had quite a lot in it.

FLOW. Your flow worked well with the piece all the way through and complimented the structure. 9/10.

STRUCTURE. You structure like i've told you many times i like a lot, ya also changed structures in this spit which i thought came to good effect, to show ya can spit in more way than one. 9 /10

PUNCHES. You had some good punches against wise, and i'd say for 80% of the spit they were good, but ya had some not so good punches aswell. 8/10

PERSONALS. This is where i thought you did the piece justice, and as it was a diss to wise, it should of had alot of personals in the piece. and you did, and a lot of funny ones i thought. 9/10

VOCAB.vocab was decent but not the best, was alright for the most part 8/10

fave line = Fat bastard and fast food eater.. All you do is put on weight
Your so love-struck by food...
... You think McDonalds is your fucking soul mate

Overall a good diss .:freeman:., keep up the good om's. 35/40

aiight free,
a few lines were played, but other than that all the lines were good, not below average realy, most of them hit.
a very good diss with nice personals. be interesting to see if he comes back!!


peace

__________________
<center><img src=http://www.rhymevantage.com/forum/attachment.php?s=&postid=6921=1 border=0></center>

This was said by me a couple days ago...lmao



Then Freeman goes and says this similar statement...lmao

"This mother fucker tries and fails.. Like a retarded horse trying to jump a fence
After this you'll be dead and gone...
... So im speaking of you in the past tence"

Hmmm? And all his lines are as stretched as my waist is suppose to be....lmao

"Even your own mother hates you.. But the only reason your not disowned
Is because you mother feels sorry for you...
... Always insists your not fat your just big boned
Fat bastard and fast food eater.. All you do is put on weight
Your so love-struck by food...
... You think McDonalds is your fucking soul mate"

Sorry...not fat...so half of your verse was a fake personal

And again...I used a concept a couple days ago...



Oh..what do you know?..he goes and does tha same shit..

"Silly hoe.. Nobody listens to you at all.. Especially 'When You Speak'
Can tell you wrote your Open Mics...
... Because like you they are weak"

And do you think he actually flows?
Just cuz his structure is so short?
Hmm...let me show you what he hides...

This mother fucker tries and fails.. Like a retarded horse trying to jump a fence
After this you'll be dead and gone...... So im speaking of you in the past tence
Even your own mother hates you.. But the only reason your not disowned
Is because you mother feels sorry for you...... Always insists your not fat your just big boned
Fat bastard and fast food eater.. All you do is put on weight
Your so love-struck by food...... You think McDonalds is your fucking soul mate
Silly hoe.. Nobody listens to you at all.. Especially 'When You Speak'
Can tell you wrote your Open Mics...... Because like you they are weak
By saying.. 'U just need to shut tha fuck up & shut ya wack mouth'.. You really took a gamble.. Just rolled the diceBut in my opinion you need to read it yourself...... And take your own fucking advice

^thats some nice structure
Flow'd really wel together too...lmao

Damn...something i just noticed...something he wrote today..

"Nobody likes you.. You dumb fuck.. Why dont you wake up and see
You never used to drop Open Mics.. So quit it and stop tryin to be like me"

Wait...but i wrote this...like 4 hours before...



Seems odd that every concept i use..you try to use on me...lmao

so in conclusion...you have fake personals..
Stretched lines...
& You're using my concepts
Theres other that you have been using..
I'll point those out a later time....

But nice piece though

lmao...over^^^ you still talking shit hoe...
And you used my concepts..I don't care how u flip it..
And man..you better be prepared...just telling you
Something legendary is coming...just a warning..
And i could of put out 4 lines and it would of been better
than both ya wack ass disses..

Man...i just broke down ya wack diss...didn't you read my post?
All your lines were played out last year...
And only ya group of butt budies don't like me...
Get a life?...shit those disses take 15 minutes top
Yours take umm...hours to come up with played lines and use my concepts
And you keep saying tha same things over and over..
You can call me all tha names you want..u think they hurt my feelings?
Ya wrong...

"End..."

Critique from an actual battler.

Listen hoe.. Im gettin sick of all the attention for me your giving
Cant you see youve released 4 disses now.. And your still not winning

Okay, kinda weak

This bitch.. Has nothing better to do than sit and type out pointless disses
Cant you see fucking idiot, that all the punches youve thrown are misses

Garbage

You dont know.. You havent heard what people say about you behind your back
'Kaos Theory is an arrogant bastard'.. and.. 'Wise Ways really is wack'

Pointing out statements is a very weak punch...where's your wordplay/creativity etc?

Everybody hates you.. Do you want to know why two people just left your crew
Well.. Hate to break it to you son.. But those two dope heads left because of you

Thanks for the compliment...okay punch..poorly worded

This mother fucker tries and fails.. Like a retarded horse trying to jump a fence
After this you'll be dead and gone...
... So im speaking of you in the past tence

Pure shit

Even your own mother hates you.. But the only reason your not disowned
Is because you mother feels sorry for you...
... Always insists your not fat your just big boned

Wtf? no

Fat bastard and fast food eater.. All you do is put on weight
Your so love-struck by food...
... You think McDonalds is your fucking soul mate

Pretty shitty

Silly hoe.. Nobody listens to you at all.. Especially 'When You Speak'
Can tell you wrote your Open Mics...
... Because like you they are weak

Damn, this is hurting my eyes...bleh bleh bleh

By saying.. 'U just need to shut tha fuck up & shut ya wack mouth'.. You really took a gamble.. Just rolled the dice
But in my opinion you need to read it yourself...
... And take your own fucking advice

Wack

Nobody likes you.. You dumb fuck.. Why dont you wake up and see
You never used to drop Open Mics.. So quit it and stop tryin to be like me

Okay

Overall, horrible flow. Poor structure. Bad wording, major lack of creativity...weak punches.

Shit Diss. Don't get all happy Wise Ways, I'm critiquing yours next.

^^ Ouch...

...Truth Hurts

__________________
LLL LW Champ
<center>Soft Focus</center>

so true

__________________