Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
02-10-04, 01:56 AM | #1 | ||||||
Guest
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from the heart...
IP: EC0B 84C7
from out of my heart i dug a part of a dark slug
mortally wounded shot and ignited heat like a spark plug pain from inside my mind spreading worse than cancer raising my arms to the sky begging god for an answer left alone quiet just like i started had your eulogy written " dearly departed.." severly discarded my existence has no point no meaning except one grab the micraphone and leave these dunns with nothing but crumbs |
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02-10-04, 10:33 AM | #2 | ||||
Word.
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IP: 83D2 D84D
This was alright.....the structure was ok in this.....it was kinda short...should try making it a little longer than that, i felt you could go on with this a lot longer than what you did....the flow was alright, flowed well....had some ok multies....but overall this was alright...keep at it.
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02-10-04, 11:05 AM | #3 | ||||||
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IP: 40D6 EBC3
Was iight...
Far too short... Need to up your vocabulary... You will learn with time... Keep at it... Pz... |
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