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Old 02-09-04, 10:31 PM   #1
rule
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Sunday

IP: BF69 0824

Woke Up Worry With Goose Bumps Stretching Out Of My Skin
Unsatisified With The Feelings I Am Touched By Deep Within
But As The Morning Awakes To Be Brightened By The Sun
I Crawl On The Depths Of Hell To Strive To Become Some One
Go To Church To Pray Before Lunch To Eat Without Sins
Swollow My Pride Ensure Today Is The Day Happiness Begins
Thus Today Is The Day Christians Are Unprovoked By Evil
So I Smile At My Life Bad Times Or Good An Love All People
Even Though I've Met Frustration My Angers Reached Climax
I'll Take The Last Day Of The Week To Dream Pray & Relax
Thank Everybody That Has Been Brutally Honest With Me
For It Helps Create The Man Within Grow From Negitivity
People May Not Understand The Picture I'm Trying To Create
..Read EveryLine..
As You Follow Every Aspect Of Lifes Journy To Learn From Mistakes
Sunday Angels Reach Down From The Heavons To Give Hope
Granted Me The Strenth To Forgive Envy Doesn't Need Prevoked
Jelousy Takes Over Me I Admit It Is True It Plays A Big Factor
Helps Me See What I Want Declares What Dreams Matter
Sunday I Greet At the End Of The Week To Understand Satisfaction
..Because Everything Happens For A Reason..
Complicating It Seems Until You Take A Day To Breath For Glorification
That's What I Do An Feel On A Typical Sunday Bring Bliss In My Direction
Enphasizes On My Lifes Love From Engadging In Sundays Protection
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Old 02-10-04, 05:07 AM   #2
Freeman
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iight...

Nice topic... Havent seen this before... Maybe its been done... But ive not seen it anyway...

You had good imagery going on here... You used your vocabulary to a nice extent... That hottened the piece up...

Structure and flow were decent enough for this...

Basically just keep dropping man...

Keep it up...

Pz...

Last edited by Freeman : 02-10-04 at 08:51 AM.
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Old 02-10-04, 05:13 AM   #3
Vokal Rights
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Ayo...that was tight, you got skillz dawg...i liked the style, but it did need a bit more work on the flow, still tight though...eh, aight peace.
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Old 02-10-04, 09:15 PM   #4
rule
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Thanks uppen
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