RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 02-14-04, 07:06 AM   #1
Bare Knuckles
Flyweight
 
Bare Knuckles's Avatar
 
Posts: 152
Joined: Aug 2003
Status: Offline
Text Record: 4-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
But these days are lonely.

IP: 3732 BEA4

She sits at the bar –
Eyes soaked in tears and finding it hard to see,
Trying to bite the bullet while she exposes the bloody heart on her sleeve.
It’s Valentine’s Day, a day in which love should be let loose in...
...Not a day for a girl’s heart to be broken by a face full of fresh bruises.
But she swallows another tequila while she sits alone at the bar –
Trying to drown her sorrows in a bottomless pit of alcohol.
3 hours later she leaves –
It’s 5 a.m. and the night is over,
Her skirt hangs from her ankles and her shirt falls from her shoulders.
She’s a mess, yet she knows it’s time to go home, but…
…She just can’t come to grips with living a life that doesn’t know love
So when she walks through the door of her flat in Dublin,
She knows she’ll be greeted by her boyfriend’s angry shoes and fists.
But she’ll take it in silence, letting her tears of blood block her sorrows,
Cause she knows she’ll have another lie to tell her boss tomorrow.



Quote:
Echoing in the background:
One is the lonliest number
That you'll ever do
Two can be as bad as one
It's the lonliest number since the number one


It’s a strange world for little Isabelle –
She’s just too young to understand…
…The reason for which her mother can never speak of Isabelle’s dad.
But when she opens her eyes each day, she’s greeted by the same faces –
An angry mother who’s screaming and a man in white who’s losing patience.
But little Isabelle sits quietly, watching the world from one day to another,
Never knowing that this would be the last time she’d see her mother.
So it doesn’t surprise me when Isabelle didn’t know what was
Happening to her mother when the man in white injected her stomach
With a pulsating needle, causing Isabelle’s world to fade
Away, so that she would never be able to see or breathe again.
But if Isabelle had have been given the chance to grow –
Then it was certain
That she would’ve understood why abortions are murder.
Isabelle was too young to understand the procedure she’d gone through
But it’s clear that this world is a lonely place when nobody wants you

So this is for every time your friends have been too pissed to hang with,
And this is for every time a father has raised his fist in anger,
And this is for the tired soldiers who don’t want to fight the war,
And this is for the lonely children who aren’t wanted in life no more.
So I’ll die for sure, because I’m too afraid of what hides in the dark,
And I just can’t turn off those water valves in my heart.
But no matter the efforts, more toil and trouble is under the rubble,
Cause these days can be so lonely, when nobody loves you...
__________________
It's me - Bare Knuckles!
Yes.. the rumours are true.

Alias: Atheist.


The Creation!

Last edited by Bare Knuckles : 02-14-04 at 07:09 AM.
  Reply With Quote
Old 02-14-04, 12:44 PM   #2
Bare Knuckles
Flyweight
 
Bare Knuckles's Avatar
 
Posts: 152
Joined: Aug 2003
Status: Offline
Text Record: 4-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: F8F8 B78D

...
__________________
It's me - Bare Knuckles!
Yes.. the rumours are true.

Alias: Atheist.


The Creation!
  Reply With Quote
Old 02-14-04, 01:22 PM   #3
Maven
...
 
Maven's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,119
Joined: Apr 2003
Status: Offline
IP: A9A7 727D

Nice piece man...
at the beginning, the flow was a little hard to catch, and your rhyming was forced in places. Not much multi-age or anything along those lines, but the two stories were really good.
The points of view were quite clear, the writer's voice was strong, and the connection between the two was evident. The third verse was cool, because it acted as a conclusion for the whole thing.
I think this would be a much better read if you had incorporated more of the technical aspects into it, but then, I sound like I hypocrite cause I don't incorporate them.
Nice piece Athiest =)
__________________
Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis
Send a message via AIM to Maven   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:40 AM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.