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02-14-04, 07:06 AM | #1 | |||||||
Flyweight
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But these days are lonely.
IP: 3732 BEA4
She sits at the bar –
Eyes soaked in tears and finding it hard to see, Trying to bite the bullet while she exposes the bloody heart on her sleeve. It’s Valentine’s Day, a day in which love should be let loose in... ...Not a day for a girl’s heart to be broken by a face full of fresh bruises. But she swallows another tequila while she sits alone at the bar – Trying to drown her sorrows in a bottomless pit of alcohol. 3 hours later she leaves – It’s 5 a.m. and the night is over, Her skirt hangs from her ankles and her shirt falls from her shoulders. She’s a mess, yet she knows it’s time to go home, but… …She just can’t come to grips with living a life that doesn’t know love So when she walks through the door of her flat in Dublin, She knows she’ll be greeted by her boyfriend’s angry shoes and fists. But she’ll take it in silence, letting her tears of blood block her sorrows, Cause she knows she’ll have another lie to tell her boss tomorrow. Quote:
It’s a strange world for little Isabelle – She’s just too young to understand… …The reason for which her mother can never speak of Isabelle’s dad. But when she opens her eyes each day, she’s greeted by the same faces – An angry mother who’s screaming and a man in white who’s losing patience. But little Isabelle sits quietly, watching the world from one day to another, Never knowing that this would be the last time she’d see her mother. So it doesn’t surprise me when Isabelle didn’t know what was Happening to her mother when the man in white injected her stomach With a pulsating needle, causing Isabelle’s world to fade Away, so that she would never be able to see or breathe again. But if Isabelle had have been given the chance to grow – Then it was certain That she would’ve understood why abortions are murder. Isabelle was too young to understand the procedure she’d gone through But it’s clear that this world is a lonely place when nobody wants you So this is for every time your friends have been too pissed to hang with, And this is for every time a father has raised his fist in anger, And this is for the tired soldiers who don’t want to fight the war, And this is for the lonely children who aren’t wanted in life no more. So I’ll die for sure, because I’m too afraid of what hides in the dark, And I just can’t turn off those water valves in my heart. But no matter the efforts, more toil and trouble is under the rubble, Cause these days can be so lonely, when nobody loves you...
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It's me - Bare Knuckles!
Yes.. the rumours are true. Alias: Atheist. The Creation! Last edited by Bare Knuckles : 02-14-04 at 07:09 AM. |
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02-14-04, 12:44 PM | #2 | ||||||
Flyweight
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IP: F8F8 B78D
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__________________
It's me - Bare Knuckles!
Yes.. the rumours are true. Alias: Atheist. The Creation! |
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02-14-04, 01:22 PM | #3 | |||
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IP: A9A7 727D
Nice piece man...
at the beginning, the flow was a little hard to catch, and your rhyming was forced in places. Not much multi-age or anything along those lines, but the two stories were really good. The points of view were quite clear, the writer's voice was strong, and the connection between the two was evident. The third verse was cool, because it acted as a conclusion for the whole thing. I think this would be a much better read if you had incorporated more of the technical aspects into it, but then, I sound like I hypocrite cause I don't incorporate them. Nice piece Athiest =)
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Life isn't a bitch... she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis |
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