Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
02-16-04, 01:34 PM | #1 | |||||||
tHa OnE FeMaLe*
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battle rap i made up...
IP: 8B9D F815
ok hea it is, jus a quick throwdown..
Everyone who battles you returns ya ass to the sender if we were on a game show you be my numba 1 contender my rhymes are tite they leave u lyrically inclined ya dun bro, the game left yo ass behind i think its time for me to start real rhymin, no timing, no criming, ya words-theas no subliming keep tryin to reach my peak it aint gunna happen chickens keep cluckin, flappas keep yappin you's a wannabe like one of those american idol cant rhyme, or sing cant believe you aint suicidal now i know i aint the best, but im closest to pefection the only thing close to me..is..oh wait...THAS MY REFLECTION! ya washed up rhymer, along the shore wit those shells sea water got to ya head, killed all ya brain cells leave you swimmin wit the fishes throw ya hoes in the ditches no room for snitches or those low-class bytches onli publicity shots is ya mug shots locked up for damagin ppl's ears a whole lot i hit u in ya weak spot- more often then not no doubt that i take it to the highest anyone who listen to this yea they biased cuz they favor me, 1000 to one i murdered ya spit and me- i outdone ya ass- cuz i jus murdered you wit this rhyme im one wit words and you just anotha in line any feedback would be nice...
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Crazy spit, her shyt be emaculate...oNe |
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02-16-04, 11:27 PM | #2 | |||
"The Eleete"
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IP: 3C42 2871
This was aight......I don't usually like self glorification drops but I tried lookin past that.....good job.....I can tell you have some skill......keep at it! Keep doin yo thing.....an hit me up sometime.....peace
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02-17-04, 12:35 AM | #3 | |||||||
Flyweight
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IP: C1DA C961
Ok - I'd like to see you bring more similies and metaphors - you had a few. Lines like:
"you's a wannabe like one of those american idol cant rhyme, or sing cant believe you aint suicidal" hit harder than mere threat lines like: "leave you swimmin wit the fishes throw ya hoes in the ditches no room for snitches or those low-class bytches" Flow was pretty good - I think it got better as you went along. Vocab could use some improvement in my opinion. You show potential though - ok piece. Hit something in my sig, preferably Broken Metamorphosis if you haven't yet. |
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02-17-04, 01:07 AM | #4 | |||||||
New to RB
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IP: DC5D 4119
Cool For A Chick...
Just Sounded Like Somethin Ive Heard Before
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Im tight with the steal dude, but you can look in my eyes and see for yourself I don't need one to kill you. |
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02-17-04, 03:02 PM | #5 | ||||
Word.
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IP: 9058 C066
This was ok.....structure in this could be a bit better i think, try evening the lines up a bit more to help support the flow so it flows better overall.....you had some alright vocab i thought....but overall this was ok....keep at it.
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