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Old 02-17-04, 10:41 AM   #1
Kwizikz
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Running Shipwrecked

IP: 6F9E F23B

Its bout me getting beat up…lol…

(Spoken)
yup......
Sometimes the light shines on us,
Sometimes the dark eclipses the light,
I feel like the wind is too cold,
Blowing me away from sight,
Withering away, How can this be....
I'm running shipwrecked,
Broken up to different parts of me.............

(Rapped)

I feel worthless; Broken...Cannot move a single inch
So I scrape my last resources together, Beaten by the lynch
Locking me down...Moving at a constant pace of anguish
Hard to distinguish...Pained movements can no longer stand it
My heart seems it's failing...The beating drum is distant
Ending my time...Gets solemn... Becomes Non existent
...Trapped…In a viscous world of agony and repent…
…Hell sent feelings I feel in my chambers, this cud be the end
But no…I keep living…My injured body keeps on labouring
Battered…Bruised…But shows no more signs of faltering
Has my aching body replenished itself?...Is the hurt over
Has the endless blows on my head knocked my drunkenness sober?
I been beat to a pulp…yet I still march on my path home
Running away shipwrecked from the battle scene…alone..
My trauma has taught me something…Don’t trust a friend
Cos they could be an enemy…waiting to strike wit might again…

(spoken)

U see, some people can’t be trusted
They’ll turn on U at any opportunity
So watch who U break bread with…
They cud be Ur worst enemy….
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Old 02-17-04, 10:45 AM   #2
Johnny 6-feet
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IP: 224F DCB8

some great imagery here, and a solid subject to rap on, but you need to up your vocab and add multis to avoid this sounding basic. youve got potential, so keep on elavating and posting.
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