so yeah i got alota shit going on in my head and i guess im gonna try to unleash it here


man where do i begin ?? when will the pain and chaos end??
i sit here alone wondering who you calling on the phone
have i been replaced or was it just a mistake for me getting in your face??
was the last 4 years a total fucking waste ?? i dont regret i dont make mistakes
so i thought till da night we fought i grabbed you by the hair ..man i swear
i didnt want to do it shatter the door putting you through it
my life is hell could you walk through it !!
dad wasnt there moms left me meet you and it was a fucking blessing
tried to make you happy while i was misarble inside watched you sleep
and i would creep into the bathroom contemplating sucide it happened
night after night and it built up then coined the phrase i dont give a fuck
my luck straight changed no boys no luv shit was straight strange
i held down everyone by myself noone there where was my self's help??
i tried to explain my actions all i got was fucked up reactions
and constant attacks on what i did wrong was it all me or you all along??
had court this morning didnt go cause my hearts still mourning
its like i stood there and died after given all i had man fuck i tried !!
now its like what i did means shit let my boy and his seed live with me for free
while the anger grew i knew something was up i didnt say anything remebr i dont give a fuck?? but now im in charge of my own life do things how i want to you do you cause on the real we are through i have made up my mind
and times change but on da real being alone feels real strange!!
but just remebr feelings change and people grow but no matter how far the distants your my love and my heart will never let go......


aight if you dont understand this shit my bad its just a way for me to vent and let some shit out its about me and my ex if you cant tell drop a feedback if you want this is like my first open mic like this so you know


"don't get mad or hate me its not my fault your mom tried to rape me"
Krackmittens

yo shit showed alot of emotion
and thats better that any perfect rhyme scheme

well thats how I feel any ways....

one love.......

yo thanks for that man

"don't get mad or hate me its not my fault your mom tried to rape me"
Krackmittens

yeah that was good thug i like it
so were you hella into that girl

^^^lol you could say that

"don't get mad or hate me its not my fault your mom tried to rape me"
Krackmittens

io guess uppin this shit i never got much feed back..lol

Nice emotion dawg. Structure and flow was off like u said it would be, so i won't touch that in anyway cause you alrdy recongnized that(why wouldn't you you wrote it after all lol)

N e ways emotion is always great to see in any piece. I hate reading stuff that just bores me to death cause there's no emotion so good lookin on ur part.

I really don't have much to say about this piece except for the structure and lack of flow, and there's not many quotables in there. Maybe next drop will be hot? If so send me a link, and I'll break it down for yah.

If ya'll don't believe me about breakin down a piece go ask spul or check his suicidal drop haha shit toke me hella long to do.

We'll ok maybe I can say a FEW things about this drop lol.

Mostly this topic/subject/concept is overly played for years and years now. This wasn't creative in any way shape or form i swear i'v seen this piece done a million times before, and shit never changes it usually ends up in a bad state at the end i.e. the person kills himself kills the girl, or they just break it off, and usually it's because of fighting or cheating so not so good looking on ur part there. Dun get me wrong tho I know your venting, and getting shit off ur chest, but venting shit can be turned into something really fucking raw and great. Don't let venting be the reason why us readers have to struggle to get through ur rhymes.

Um some advise try and slow down, and think for a sec when ur venting, and listening to that beat. I could see that ur holding shit back in that verse it seems like you wanted to say something, but you couldn't get it on paper hmmmm what was it I wonder. Word usage was fairly par nothing above or below average for a piece like this.

Another word of advice. I know we all go through this fuckign elevating processes shit I still am for awhile to come now, but if ur going to do something this played atleast flip it up, and try to make it origonal as u can. There is nothing like bettering every1 at there own game man just keep spitting raw emotion, and use that venting into something good also slow down reread, and make sure u get what u really want to say out there it's important.

don't hate just crit.

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Okay I Really Liked It! And If She Read It I Kno She Would Kno It Waz A Sry..............cause I Did And I'm Not Her!

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