ok.. so this is like half rap, half poetic i guess. basically i have the beginings of a piece (or several), just want some feedback. i dont care if you dont like what it says, basically just fuck off

How to squeeze each drop of my existence into words
like how can they capture thoughts caught on the wings of birds
The god of my own religion, I find strength in the divinity within
To divorce myself from I is the one and ultimate sin
With each passing moment, leaving our real selves buried
Amidst false epiphanies, gold from Tiphany’s - methods varied
but end the same, false images married and false burdens carried
with a deep breath we march on, leaving the soul’s criticism parried

please of insanity ring out when I view visions of humanity
Tears well in my mind’s eyes, saline streams emptying into my adrenaline dreams
Mixed with the sweat of efforts passed and the blood of failures amassed
All mix and form my soul’s ocean, my passion and emotion
Driving my every forward motion, fueling my life’s devotion

so keep in mind its not done, not sure 100% what im doing, just sort of spilling mind on paper

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RIP SMOKAJOKA WE WILL MiSS YOU!!!!!!