Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
05-18-04, 02:59 PM | #1 | |||||||
Flyweight
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SHIT RHYME! OLD TING!!!!!!! Feedback plz **MWAHH**
IP: 937F C2E6
My inspiration,
My Heavenly muse, My own words, You want me to use. So here they are, Straight from my heart. I just wish I knew Where to start. The way your kiss Stops my breath. The look in your eyes, There's so much depth. I could drown With just one look. And with that same look, My heart you took. But you gave me yours All in fair trade. And with this, Our relationship was made. Destined before The beginning of time. God brought us together, Your heart and mine. You are the man God set apart for me. The only man Who will ever see. You may not know All of me yet, But you will one day, I'm sure I can bet. You already touch The deepest parts The places guarded Way down in my heart. You're the first to go there The first with the key To the locked up door Inside of me. You opened it And flooded my soul. With all these emotions That I didn't know. So here we are, Not drowning, but basking In these emotions I thought I was lacking. To feel this love From a mortal's hand. Not Jesus' or God's, But an earthly man. The man that I'll marry One day down the road. The man that I love Heart, body, and soul. haha!!! I cant beleive i just posted dat man its a piece of shit! I made it long ting ago.......But gimmie feedback plz
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lickdacreamoff _-_-*baby_gal*-_-_ |
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05-18-04, 05:49 PM | #2 | ||||
yawn
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IP: 06D4 9403
This was a nice emotional drop... You went off a little on some things... Like you would have a great elegant feel to your lines then come with something simple.. Besides that... it was pretty good.. Well written... Nice drop
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do your research. |
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05-18-04, 08:24 PM | #3 | |||||||
New to RB
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IP: B417 F924
this was aiight was not feeling how you structured it...topic was ok stay up 1
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.::The Goddess::.
No ones touchin my lyrical content...cuz im inclined to unwine spines and minds decline stuttering using weak lines all in the wrong context// RB BATTLE RECORD -Winz- DaLyricalVillian((ko)) Gotaasswoopin4u((5-3)) -Lost to- |
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