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Old 05-18-04, 02:59 PM   #1
baby_gal
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SHIT RHYME! OLD TING!!!!!!! Feedback plz **MWAHH**

IP: 937F C2E6

My inspiration,
My Heavenly muse,
My own words,
You want me to use.

So here they are,
Straight from my heart.
I just wish I knew
Where to start.

The way your kiss
Stops my breath.
The look in your eyes,
There's so much depth.

I could drown
With just one look.
And with that same look,
My heart you took.

But you gave me yours
All in fair trade.
And with this,
Our relationship was made.

Destined before
The beginning of time.
God brought us together,
Your heart and mine.

You are the man
God set apart for me.
The only man
Who will ever see.

You may not know
All of me yet,
But you will one day,
I'm sure I can bet.

You already touch
The deepest parts
The places guarded
Way down in my heart.

You're the first to go there
The first with the key
To the locked up door
Inside of me.

You opened it
And flooded my soul.
With all these emotions
That I didn't know.

So here we are,
Not drowning, but basking
In these emotions
I thought I was lacking.

To feel this love
From a mortal's hand.
Not Jesus' or God's,
But an earthly man.

The man that I'll marry
One day down the road.
The man that I love
Heart, body, and soul.

haha!!! I cant beleive i just posted dat man its a piece of shit! I made it long ting ago.......But gimmie feedback plz
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Old 05-18-04, 05:49 PM   #2
Crossword
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This was a nice emotional drop... You went off a little on some things... Like you would have a great elegant feel to your lines then come with something simple.. Besides that... it was pretty good.. Well written... Nice drop
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Old 05-18-04, 08:24 PM   #3
LadyLyrical
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this was aiight was not feeling how you structured it...topic was ok stay up 1
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