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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
05-27-04, 06:36 PM
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#1
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..Intelligent Hoodlum..
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.....would-could-should-....
IP: 66F2 AB19
hook: if u can rewind and do it ova tell me if u would...... if u can be sumbody if u wanted tell me if u could.... if u can start yo life back ova tell me if u should.... yea uhh tell me if u would..... yea uhh tell me if u could..... yea uhh tell me if u should.... nowadayz iss all about beef niggaz dat wanna be a gangster....... niggaz dat wanna shoot,wanna try 2 kill wanna try 2 shank ya...... they wanna be like others they wanna try 2 rep there block..... but if ppl didnt think hard,would big and pac would have got shot.... and if things can change-will music be da same...... will it be talk about drugs-will it be talk about gangs.... if thingz can be diffrent will hiphop die... if thingz were safe-would will still have left eye...... bodies eirnight mostly from da music dat is clapped... if it can be changed from 50 and listen to real rap...... if he wouldve walked away-would c-murder be on death row stanza.... would 8 ppl be alive-if they wouldve caught da snipers in alabama..... hook: if u can rewind and do it ova tell me if u would...... if u can be sumbody if u wanted tell me if u could.... if u can start yo life back ova tell me if u should.... yea uhh tell me if u would..... yea uhh tell me if u could..... yea uhh tell me if u should.... if music retain-will rap stay da same...... if beffin be cooked -will hiphop have a bigger name... and will aalyiah still be here-if she waited 4 another plane.... and if we had a black president will US be insaine..... if the drama go away-will it be hotter demo tapes.... if kobe wont rich,would he be charged wit rape.... if denzel didnt fight,will da grammys still wait..... if usher didnt cheat-would he have a story 2 tell... would u get shot 40timez-if yo wallet fell...... would it be dead or alive-wat we choose... if brown didnt fight-would be in segragated schools...... hook: if u can rewind and do it ova tell me if u would...... if u can be sumbody if u wanted tell me if u could.... if u can start yo life back ova tell me if u should.... yea uhh tell me if u would..... yea uhh tell me if u could..... yea uhh tell me if u should.... Last edited by PoLiFicK : 05-27-04 at 08:02 PM. |
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05-27-04, 07:54 PM
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#2
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Light Weight
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IP: 55FF 1D18
thats tight you gotta work on your flow a lil more and the literary devices like metaphors but the point your making is very strong. and it is easy for all readers to comprehend and feel what your saying. nice verse man....peace
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[IMG]sig.mike[/IMG] |
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05-27-04, 07:57 PM
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#3
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..Intelligent Hoodlum..
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IP: 66F2 AB19
thanx 4 da feed back appreciate it
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05-28-04, 12:25 PM
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#4
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(00)O=(00) <-- I will knock you the fuck out........
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IP: B20F 67F7
yo i gotta give u madd respect i dunno it was more of a black thing wit the segregation and all that otha stuff but even as a white kid i gotta repect dat that was deep..but as fro what to improve maybe a lil work on the flow and take uhh outa the hook try to see if nething else fits but damn that was some serious shyt kid lovin it...........
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05-28-04, 04:40 PM
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#5
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..Intelligent Hoodlum..
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IP: 66F2 AB19
thanx uppin
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05-28-04, 05:15 PM
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#6
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Addicted
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IP: 42EF 972E
yo i liked this....the best part was ur verses cuz they was down to earth and real....the only thing i didnt like was the hook for some reason i think it didnt flow right u should try to change it up and see wut u come up wit...other then that it waas a tight verse...yo homey can u leave feed back for Crhyme Sindicates latest open mic release its called we wont stay down the link is in my sig holla
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05-28-04, 05:27 PM
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#7
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..Intelligent Hoodlum..
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IP: 66F2 AB19
thanx 4 da feed uppin
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05-28-04, 05:39 PM
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#8
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Flyweight
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IP: DF7B C8F7
That was really deep, well done POLIFICK, well done
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All hail the honourable My battles |
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05-28-04, 05:43 PM
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#9
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..Intelligent Hoodlum..
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IP: 66F2 AB19
thanxxx uppin
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05-28-04, 08:47 PM
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#10
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..Intelligent Hoodlum..
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IP: 7C6F 690C
uppin 4 feedback------
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05-29-04, 12:40 AM
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#11
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..Intelligent Hoodlum..
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IP: 7C6F 690C
uppin dont sleep no dis
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