Wow summer is so short I'm just playin some sports its
A bummer school is coming dum busts saying shit they spit
Out wack Threads they poison like lead hate what I have said
They lack skills young as a tyke dead weights got weirdass heads
Copping there rhymes they skitzted sound like there blitzed
Dropping there lines but it sucks pound them little fucks
Don't show case flow pace is not there I don't care at all
Cave boys getting sike drinks spike rare to find good cats ball Sometimes expanding my vocab never on a slab
Dumbcrimes commanding the earth its wack like rabs
Kids sleeping peeping the wrong shit I'm keeping reel to reel
I'm snapping when I'm rapping pits of steeping deals I feel
Shit can't change a lot of squabs smaller then shish kebab
My freestying everchanging man when I wish the fobs
In my head talk sprays will neva be squash gosh I'm board
My steez is STARBURST its sweet I wash my sword
Which is my mic my sprays are a movie these are the words of a Juvie

this was ok,
ya flow was decent but ya lines was basic u need to flip some of those lines and it also seems as if u was telling a story not rhyming which made it kinda of lame to read,
keep trying to get more creative with ya lines,
try adding some multis in there or upp'in ya vocab aight holla

can u also drop some feed back on my forgotten diss pt 2 thanks alot man.....

sorry man i forgot to add the link.......

http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=137793