ok - a little intro: This is just a bunch of thoughts I had jotted down sort of thrown together - so obviously it won't flow like a normal poem. All of the lines are random thoughts - but that is the whole idea of the poem. I will be doin a audio for this over "Silly Puddy" by Zion i, but for poetry sake - here is my first poem. Sit back and enjoy. Thanks

MY FIRST POEM

who was i... who was i... an undiscovered genius/
In a world so contained - I was always so free in this/
life, in this course of age and experiance/
I saw life 20/20 while everyone else was so delirious/

Took it for what it was, but I saw it for more/
I now see a hand, a finger, and then four more/
but then I saw a tool, an experiance - a way to know more/
a bridge to creativity, scheduled repitition no more/

who AM i... who AM i... let me explain my diagnosis/
no it ain't psychosis, but then again - I wrote this/
The mindset of a writer is something of a mystery/
Understand inside my head - it's not basic psychology/

Passion replaces my ever absent perfection/
art can only be appreciated through proper reflection/
I'm always guessing - contradiction it has me mistaken/
only the architect really understands what he is makin'/

I orchestrate my world - just like a symphony/
Always creating new creations like Leonardo De Vinci/
I mold my sculpture with words not clay/
and You'll soon see a picture of my molded essay/

sometimes conceided in my own headstong temperment/
my life an experiment, withheld from the heavensent/
my obsession with assension is my self-expression/
my display of modern skill is beyond comprehension/



Just my thoughts - Just my thoughts - artistic thought portrayed/
Just my thoughts - Just my thoughts - emotions being displayed/
Just my thoughts...
Just my thoughts...



where am i... where am i... in the physical and mental/
mentally im here now, but it's like I've simply spent all/
my energy just trying to concentrate on life/
concentrate on something bigger, trying to be precise/

Insomnia has its fingers wrapped around my soul/
mentally defeated over circumstance I can't control/
This heart used to bleed but it has since stopped/
No more emotional needs - I'm hardened - sympathy's dropped/

All alone is where I'm at, and where I'm at is all alone/
kinda sad when the last ten times I talked to fam was on the phone/
Upon my throne I write this poem, I package it and send it home/
and I lie when I jot down just how my life is goin/

Pulitzer Prize winner, and thats just for beginners/
How can I write these heart felt rhymes to save the lives of sinners?/
When I've spent Summers and Winters, and many Springs and falls/
Searching MY soul as to how to answer this lifes call/



Just my thoughts - Just my thoughts - artistic thought portrayed/
Just my thoughts - Just my thoughts - emotions being displayed/
Just my thoughts...
Just my thoughts...




Through the intricacies of present time only I can see/
The birth of my characteristics - and who I'm going to be/
The fading glimpses of my distant memory slowly vanish/
I banish broken dreams of my past and simply wish/

For a new day, a new dream, a new chance at freedom/
Average is unacceptable, I can't join em, gotta beat em/
Gotta be HIM, the man that everyone expects/
but I gotta respect myself first - so I keep myself in check/

My first poem jot it down, scribble scratch, minutes pass/
My first poem I got it now, lyric match, make it last/
My first poem...
My first poem...

My first poem open minded, skills to show, detais with flow/
My first poem coincided, much to know, emotions blow/
My first poem...
My first poem...

Don't look in my casket when this soul leaves/
It'll be hard enough as is - hold my mother while she greaves/
On her knees crying askin "Why take my son Lord?"/
No more words, no more notes, not another chord/

Don't know how it ends, I don't know where it begins/
what will be said about me to my family and my friends/
what will be said.....



Just my thoughts - Just my thoughts - artistic thought portrayed/
Just my thoughts - Just my thoughts - emotions being displayed/
Just my thoughts...
Just my thoughts...

Just my thoughts - Just my thoughts - artistic thought portrayed/
Just my thoughts - Just my thoughts - emotions being displayed/
Just my thoughts...
Just my thoughts...

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^there's isn't a such thing as a "normal poem", they come in all shapes and forms.. u did a really good job good use of repetition.. good job, really.. keep doin' ya thing..
aight
~wun~

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that was good but it comes accross as a rap still thats ok.i liked it and if thats your first poem your gonna be nice as fuck one day

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A.I

AIN'T THAT THE PURPOSE OF THE SITE?

You Did Pretty Good For Your First Poem

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Guess who?...

...Paramik Fuckin'...

...Owns You!

I got the serious rap-writing mentality right now - cause thats all I ever done. Maybe I should stick with it, cause I just got comfortable with the writing style, but just thought this was an interesting piece - and thought I would post it. Thanks for the feed ya'll.

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this was a real dope poem man, it was like a rap verse in a way,you definately have a way with words and flow, nice job, and keep writing too............1

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"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI"

O Y D

*FluidMusic*


*Poetic Scriptures Moderator*

I was feeling it, except it sounded alittle to much like a rhym, sawl good though i'd give it a 9.0/10. I'd apreciate it if you could return the favor and check this...

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=139151

uppin...... thanks for the feed ya'll i been peepin all your stuff too - leave links

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