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08-11-04, 02:43 PM
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#1
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Moderator
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On The Other Side Of The Door
IP: 6970 C2F4
This was a topical battle verse i just wrote.. I want some more feedback though..
The Other Side Of The Door
-July 16, 1968-
Im drivin to school.. so i can continue slaving for grades.. but the clock isnt waiting
Im running late.. but theres yet another traffic build up due to the constant raining The cops are tellin everyone wasting their time.. water had flooded over the ridge But fuck waiting.. i decided it was in my best interest to go over the rickety bridge As i pull my car up.. it didnt look stable at all... but i didnt have the time to slack But after i my car reached the middle of the bridge.. the boards started to crack I started back.. but it was to late for me.. as the car fell into the unescapable sea I did my best to breathe, but i could only get a few breaths..... it sucked for me I guess u could say i was lucky.. some fireman pulled me out.. treated me like an egg But as i made my first attempt to breathe.. i realized that i just couldnt move my legs I went to the ER.... in a nice way they said i should be thankful i hadnt drowned But their best doctor came in and said i had been paralyzed from my neck and down -July 16,1988-
20 years passed.. and its like paralyization has turned my mind into a thrashing bear
Cause everytime i seem to go outside.. all i recieve are peoples laughs and stares Everyday i ask where my life is goin.. but it seems pointless.. cause im all alone But i just want to be better again, so i take my wheelchair and head to my doctors home Hes been retired for 11 years, but i still go.. the number of patients he still sees, few But when i go.... i just come to ask the same question that i always seem to do He already knows im screwed.. but he also knows that i dont want to be ignored And after he sat down on the couch.. he said theres no way to fix the spinal cord That finally pushed me over the top.. 20 years, and still not a cure to be bought So i pulled a gun from my wheelchair and told me if he didnt fix me hed be shot He saw my breaking spot.. but he was tryin to be calm cause he didnt want to fight But i refused to lower my hand gun.. so instead he began to start to beg for his life I could tell he was right.. so i turned my gun on myself, i just wanted to end this war I knew it would be better for everyone.. if i went On The Other Side Of The Door -July 16, 2088-
The doctor i spoke of has rised on stage.. as he begins to look the crowd in their eyes As after i died he came out of retirment.. and now he is accepting the Nobel Prize As he prepares to start his speech.. he couldnt help but have tears roll down his cheeks When he told the whole audience our story, and how it lasted thousands of weeks His voice was weak.. he said his discovery of healing the spinal cord was the key But as he continued to break down in tears.. he dedicated everything he did to me So now as i sit in heaven, id like to think if i was still alive.. everything would be alright But as i figured out, on the Other Side Of The Door, for me.. was all just great light Though i do miss the doctor, all he tried to do for me.. and our friendly growth bust I still believe that me leavin the world.. was the best thing i could do for the both of us Last edited by Mimesis : 08-11-04 at 02:52 PM. |
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08-11-04, 03:18 PM
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#2
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Moderator
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IP: 6970 C2F4
Uppin for some feedback..
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08-11-04, 03:21 PM
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#3
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IP: CCAE A7E8
leave a link dawg . .
to a open mic you've replied to.. rules are rules, yo ..
__________________
S-Own Squod RB Text Tourney Finalist Orginal Relaunched Member. Password Aka The Masked 2nd Moderator on Rapverse Ever Not quite legendary yet.... |
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08-11-04, 03:24 PM
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#4
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Moderator
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IP: 6970 C2F4
^ I did leave a link.. at the bottom of my open mic..
The DRAG~ON one.. Werd. Still uppin for some feedback.. |
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08-11-04, 07:57 PM
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#5
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Moderator
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IP: 21B5 64F6
Uppin again.
Any feedback will be appreciated.. |
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08-16-04, 09:21 PM
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#6
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Moderator
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IP: 08F6 E948
Uppin for any feedback at all..
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