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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
09-21-04, 09:43 AM
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#1
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...tha princess of rv...
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A World Of All Men
IP: 909E 435E
LIl topical piece i wrote....
jus looking for sum honest feedback As the shop assistant serves me in this busy rush hour I feel an unpragmatic sense of weakness, a loss of power The way in which i am spoken to...Service with no care? My body shakes,whats happening?,feels like im not truly there Unusual,Shocking, only men in a womens department store? Somewhat solitary confinement, I head for the adjacent door The handle twists..I feel the sunlight reflecting of startled eyes Pondering for a minute,wait...This sight seems only to be of guys I step out,yet unoticed...i take my time to let this truly sink in not a women in sight...and sex is the last thing im thinking! Petrified,solitude,even suicide...dessolate landscape i feel torn Cursing the day i was born...Mens presence i hatredly scorn You see, eversince birth men have destroyed my confidence Father from the age of 4..To the boyfreind in West Concinence This image i see before me cuts,Deep down to the very core I may wake, im dreaming?...I feel my head against the cold floor I struggle to conjour my inner self...as i slowly rise to my feet My house lies two blocks away, i must make it down the street As i stumble along, the wolf whistles, The putial glaring stare Reminds me of my awfull life...Of my upbringing in foster care Men follow in my every step, I wish i had the courage to ask What the hell is going on here...A sumwhat impossible task Thoughts of my faith, How can this ultimate nightmare be true? This isnt at all exciting,these men are animals belonging in a zoo Thoughts suddenly dissmissed...The whole scene hits a black out A familiar voice in my ear...Please!...yes!, this is a womens shout Eyes open, startled...Mother wiping my tears as in my bed i lay Its all over..but still to this day,i pray for release from my dissmay
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. MaNiPuLaTiOn .ToPiCaL GeNiUs
free agent |
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09-21-04, 12:40 PM
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#2
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...tha princess of rv...
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IP: 909E 435E
feedback.....................n ill hit up ya battles/links
__________________
. MaNiPuLaTiOn .ToPiCaL GeNiUs
free agent |
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09-22-04, 08:48 AM
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#3
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...tha princess of rv...
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IP: 909E 435E
uppin............................................. ...
__________________
. MaNiPuLaTiOn .ToPiCaL GeNiUs
free agent |
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09-22-04, 09:50 AM
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#4
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: CDAA 2D0A
...pretty good an take free agent out ya sig you wit destined 2 rhyme go check in forum is up....
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09-22-04, 02:47 PM
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#5
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<<-Carpe Noctum->>
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IP: 0825 899A
that was very good, props gurl, nice imagery in your wordsand ya vocab was an excellent way to describe the scene, nice job on this...pc
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"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" O Y D   *FluidMusic* *Poetic Scriptures Moderator* |
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