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Old 08-03-04, 03:36 PM   #1
LyrikalGladiator
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Your Pain Is My Pain

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Your Pain Is My Pain



Something about you being hurt,
Makes me wanna lift the tears from your eyes…


Makes me wanna change the world to your advantage,
So you would never cry…



Makes me wanna do everything in my power,
To make the hurt die…



Makes me wanna give you wings to escape,
So my angel could fly…



Makes me wanna sacrifice myself,
To keep you alive…



Makes me wanna hand you the moonlight in a jar,
So I could brighten your life…



Makes me wanna defeat your struggles,
So I don’t have to witness watering eyes




But, it seems to do you no good,
The harder I try…



But only because it seem as if
I am the biggest part of your life,



Would I grab the clouds,
To soak the tears from under you eyes…



And only if you faded from this earth,
To the heavens and died,



Would I hang on to great memories,
Until my time to soar through the skies…



And only because I care for you,
Do I pray for the discontinuation of your family fights…



But really,
I just want to keep you happy and our love alive



Because your pain is my pain
and when you cry, I cry….
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Old 08-03-04, 04:48 PM   #2
Mizz_Undastood
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damn....i was really feeling that....much props to u writing that, felt the emotion and loved trhe whole set up of the poem...keep it up. 1
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Old 08-03-04, 10:14 PM   #3
JaneDoe
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i love this poem sooo much! it was beautiful. it reminded me of my relationship with my boyfriend so much. this was just sooo beautiful. there is nothing I would change about it
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Old 08-04-04, 09:22 AM   #4
LyrikalGladiator
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thank you

i was thinking about revising it but i keep getting postive feedback so


keep tha feedback comin
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Old 08-04-04, 07:49 PM   #5
Nyghtmare
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That was some real shit, much props 2 u.
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Old 08-04-04, 08:48 PM   #6
Phenom-in-all
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Good lookin. Ya - word - good poem, there was alot I liked in this too. Strong topic, and some real nice emotion flowin. Mos Def one of the best I peeped in a minute. Hope to see more from you, as this was pretty excellent. peep my first poem up in here. peace
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Old 08-04-04, 09:20 PM   #7
LyrikalGladiator
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lol thank you....this was a very touchy topic for me

based on true story

based on real emotions so it wasnt hard to write

but yeah ima start writing all my poems like this

thanx fa tha feedback
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Old 08-06-04, 09:41 AM   #8
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uppin
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Old 08-13-04, 03:28 PM   #9
badgurl3136
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wow I am a girl and if someone would have wrote that to me, I would have cryed just cause u felt that strongly about me. Its really good, keep it up! And u really should send it to the girl u meant it for, she'll like it! Smile i'm out
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Old 08-22-04, 05:14 PM   #10
LyrikalGladiator
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thanx fa tha feed back

i did give it to her and she cried...lol

can i get more feedback
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