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09-15-04, 11:41 PM | #1 | |||||||
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eternal love (phat mic and creative collaboration)
IP: 0594 6E13
...ETERNAL LOVE... As I enter this state of mind and try and find this thing called love I manifest myself, collaborate my knowledge from above When I imagine your tears trickle from your beautiful face I feel an unbearable pain and my legs tremble and shake As I grow faint I become overwhelmed with these unknown emotions Could this be love, these awkward feelings I have, these weird notions These questions I ask continue to boggle my mind But my “LOVE?” for you continues to grow in each and every line in this massive entangled thing I call my mantels.... come out pen and pad in shaking hands for a walk And as I’m strolling slowly my brain starts to talk To me about emotions and how I’m feeling inside But this time I think my emotions are on an incline But I can’t forget all this distance, space, and time, so I’m Sitting writing as I’m chained to my burden in the park While my eyes try to focus as they contrast to the dark thinking how we hit it off then the first date, hart was racing started to poor, raindrops hit the ink and the words where misshapen Into the shape of a heart, so I’m telling you this is profound I’m glad it was you I found but ma I can’t always be around but i will thank the lord, you help me strive above she elevates me to a higher level but now I’m out......my one love As I enter this maze that you call your heart, Every time I reach the end, once again it feels like I’m at the start, Every path I take seems to be wrong but still you give me another try, No matter how difficult the path I promise I will never cheat nor lie, Now I have completed this maze and things aren’t what they seem, Everything is too good to be true, dare I wake from this dream, As I await for a for a pinch, I wonder if I shall wake up, Will I ever be able to love you, will I be able to take the place of Jacob, Only in my dreams I could imagine someone as beautiful as you, ever since you arrived in my life it feels like my dreams have come true, Dare I wake from this dream, dare I challenge the sign from above, Shea walk with me in this maze, as we sleep in a eternal slumber of love aight this a poem that me and phat mic did......he is the bolded area and i am the regular text area.........
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my MYSPACE is Better than Yours |
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09-15-04, 11:44 PM | #2 | |||||
Internet is so beef...
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IP: ABE5 5A5C
yes we are that good
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[certified gangsta] [/certified gangtsa]
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09-15-04, 11:50 PM | #3 | |||||||
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IP: 0594 6E13
lol yes it is true my time of poetry has come...
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my MYSPACE is Better than Yours |
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09-16-04, 12:42 AM | #4 | |||||||
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IP: 0594 6E13
aight can we get some feed back...
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my MYSPACE is Better than Yours |
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09-16-04, 10:14 AM | #5 | |||||
Internet is so beef...
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IP: ABE5 5A5C
uppin for some feed back
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[certified gangsta] [/certified gangtsa]
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09-16-04, 05:19 PM | #6 | |||||||
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IP: E3CA 7CA2
dam,n we need some feed back....
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my MYSPACE is Better than Yours |
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09-17-04, 02:20 PM | #7 | |||||
Internet is so beef...
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IP: E3CA 7CA2
blah uppin
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09-17-04, 03:03 PM | #8 | |||||
<<-Carpe Noctum->>
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IP: 28AD 5545
wow, wonders why peeps are sleepin<<<<<< this was real good, nice structure, you guys both did very well with making the verses mold together, which is sometimes tough to do, very beautiful words and flow, you both have natural ability to write, i can tell by the vocab that you used, nice job on this..pc
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"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" O Y D *FluidMusic* *Poetic Scriptures Moderator* |
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09-17-04, 06:24 PM | #9 | |||||||
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IP: 0594 6E13
finally we get some feed back......thanks^^^
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09-18-04, 08:37 PM | #10 | |||||||
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IP: 0594 6E13
uppin this ...................
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my MYSPACE is Better than Yours |
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09-18-04, 11:23 PM | #11 | ||||||
Light Weight
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IP: 3240 794D
I feel this piece. Nearly flawless structure and vocab was awsome. It's cool how yall parts intertwine. This some love inspiring shit for real.
People sleep way too much on these boards man. They don't know what they missing over here. Nice drop yall. |
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09-19-04, 02:45 AM | #12 | |||||||
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IP: 0594 6E13
uppin for more feed back
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my MYSPACE is Better than Yours |
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