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Old 09-18-04, 05:47 PM   #1
Parallel
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Text Record: 8-4
She's A Millionaire "post feedback"

IP: 5043 32F4

Topical: She’s a Millionaire

I found a adult that awoke with a dream full of night-mares….
She dreamt about her up on the top with all them rich millionaires/
I was like hows that so possible she had like no job to work-for…
Maybe she needs to get a new one that’s better so she can get paid-more/
How about she needs go to school again to get money for her own protection…
About 10 years later she looked in the mirror and saw her own reflection/
She was dressed like she was a rich mothafuckin bitch…
I should of thought of tryin to rob her to make her studer and twitch/
This women must be insane to think shes rich but it all comes up to a conclusion…
On weather I sould hustle her quick we all are up with confusion/
Now later I talked to my friends about goin to her mansion…
Everyone knos shes like a sexy long legged women full of passion/
Sometimes I wonder if she dreams about me in bed…
If she did I would say that’s nasty, how about later ill just jack her instead/
Shes gettin mixed into a bunch of different weird temptations…
That im gonna ask for directions, shes getting mixed into other peoples conversations/
That would happen to her easy cuz rich people usually think that cuz of stress…
Maybe she needs to go to the gym and workout I guess cuz she needs alot more finesse/
To many rich people think that they can out rule us with there money…
But I just stand still even if the words they say, don’t sound cute and funny/
She was one of the first to say that to me, even kno it sounded evil…
I couldent do anything that’s the way rich people think, its unbelievable/
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Old 09-18-04, 06:36 PM   #2
Parallel
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Text Record: 8-4
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uppin
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Old 09-18-04, 11:17 PM   #3
Parallel
Banned: Cheating
 
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From: West, Canada
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Text Record: 8-4
IP: 5043 32F4

uppin
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Old 09-19-04, 04:19 PM   #4
Parallel
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uppin
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Old 09-19-04, 05:45 PM   #5
Kawn Flixx
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i say about....7.5/10

i aint really worried about structre cuz
when you rap you don't HEAR structure

I liked the whole concept of the song
had like a kanye's "all falls down" theme to it

your flow was iight
but to make it flow better and to entertain the reader
make shorter lines.. like limit the time of when the next
rhyme is gonna come ike this:


yours:
Maybe she needs to get a new one that’s better so she can get paid-more/
How about she needs go to school again to get money for her own protection…
About 10 years later she looked in the mirror and saw her own reflection/



mine:Maybe she needs to get a new one that’s better
inreased credit, so she can get paid-more
send bill letters in shredders,everyone she knows
is aware that she's poor

^see it keeps interest

nice drop 4 real i aint butterin ya up

i see MK famous for these open micaz
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Old 09-19-04, 06:13 PM   #6
C.C.C.P.
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wtf was that lololololololololololol. you be stocking this bitch and it gay rapping about someone else. and let bitch do what she want. the flow was ok though. but style bad i give it a 4/10 try again
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Old 09-19-04, 10:25 PM   #7
Parallel
Banned: Cheating
 
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Posts: 5,148
Joined: Sep 2004
From: West, Canada
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Text Record: 8-4
IP: 5043 32F4

^thats it you wanna challenge me fucker im sick of this i want real feedback like fuckin russian faggot you prob have tat gay ass voice n shit go away or battle me right now!!!!

and proverse i got you man ya i kno i didnt flow to good but i tryed not to go over the top with it so ya thanks man ill try next time i got a better song i might record if its likeable ill pm you about checkin it out cuz yer one of the best topical guys on this site and yer young like me to i like that

now i am UPPIN
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Old 09-21-04, 08:49 PM   #8
Parallel
Banned: Cheating
 
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Posts: 5,148
Joined: Sep 2004
From: West, Canada
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Text Record: 8-4
IP: 5043 32F4

uppin
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