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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
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09-16-04, 02:58 AM
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#1
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Light Weight
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Nobody There: Hitchhikers Doom
IP:
first topical, i posted it in a couple of sites..done today tho =)
hope you enjoy.. Nobody There: Hitchhiker's Doom
...Bad peers and darkness followed Mike wherever he set foot... ...Always moving from place to place, never got accomodated, never stayed put... ...Lived with his grandmother, since his mother and father had long passed away... ...visions clear in his mind, he remembers the deadly accident as if it was yesterday... ...And It Went Sorta Like This... ...Rainy night, his mother lay aside him in the backseat of a '96 Caprice... The rain got heavier, windshield wipers were broken his dad could barely see the streets ...creepin' slowly, they saw a stranger with his car stranded, pleedin' for help... Mike's father was a caring, religious, so he culdnt bare to leave da man all by himself ..The man seemed to be in his early thirty's and thanked us for taking him out of that "hell".. ...Well, he was wearing a long black raincoat, and he occupied the passenger seat... ...My mother still lay aside me, but the steady drops of rain had her fallin' asleep... All of a sudden the car breaks down, n da rain keeps heavy, the smoke was unclear so Mike's dad n da man hop out of da car n 1 goes to the motor the other to the rear ...Little did Mike know that the end of his parent's existence was near... ...Mike's dad Lifted up the hood of his car, he wanted to see if everything alright... ...Nobody walked the streets at that time, it was raining plus the middle of the night... ...So without thinkin' twice, the man slammed the hood of the Ride... ...And shattered Mike's dads brains, because his head still lay there inside... ...He ran to the backseat of the caprice, looked at Mike's mom, she couldn't even weep... ...Paused for a bit, and just stared, gloomy eyes his look was very deep... ...Grabbed Mike's mother, Mike was screamin', hopin' someone would hear... ...But it was the middle of the night, plus raining heavy so noone was there... ...The man slapped Mike's mom hard, and didn't hesitate to rip up her shirt... Exposin' her breast, That just made him pick up the speed and move on to her skirt Mike's mom tried to fight back, but her attempts were worthless the man held his place ..The man started to rape her, Mike lay there in total disbelief just staring at his face.. ..He tries to hit the guy, but it's useless..he catches Mike with his backhand.. Mike's father never beat on him, so this was the first time he had ever been struck by a man He looked at them n said, 'yu shuldnt pick up strangers' maybe next time yul understand but Mike was scared that maybe there wouldn't be a next time for him and his fam.. ..The man pulled out a gun & ran outta the car, put two to Mike's dad in his back.. ..Whilst he still held the gat, laughin out loud, he walked slowly to Mike n his mother.. Mike couldn't contain he went on da run n while fleedin he said 'sorry mother I love yu' His mother and father were left to be killed, rotten, but in Mike's memory never forgotten There wasn't a day dat went by in Mike's childhood dat he didn't remember dat tragic day.. Were a stranger who pulls to their way, was the main cause of his parents passin away. *nyce*
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Last edited by Wrecker : 09-16-04 at 03:03 AM. |
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09-18-04, 08:54 AM
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#2
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Light Weight
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IP:
c'mon people, stop sleepin' on this man, it took me awhile to write it..
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09-18-04, 07:26 PM
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#3
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Thank You, Come Again
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IP:
this is pretty nice...........seen better but a good job for your first topical...Everyhtings good iono why people care so much bout stretched lines but its good
?Was felin the verse all around..nice plot ehhh 6.5/10 the highest score so far 
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09-21-04, 10:46 PM
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#4
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Light Weight
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IP:
thanks, c'mon more feed?
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10-01-04, 01:45 PM
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#5
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Light Weight
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IP:
yup.
more feed, please..
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10-14-04, 01:54 PM
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#6
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Light Weight
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IP:
damn man, this site sucks for open mics..nobody gets feed..or at least not me =/
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