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Old 10-22-04, 12:38 PM   #1
Ice Pick
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Text Record: 68-10
The Process of Realization (Through words

IP: 579F F01D

I wish we could go back to a time where stolen hugs and tongue ringed kisses
occupied our days. Where intimate tastes of secret places reigned superior to the unspoken truths of our forbidden affair.

Plagued by man and a woman.

I loved her strong and I loved her hard. My unwillingness to let her go,
clutching her so tightly I made it impossible for her to breathe.

Today she stopped loving me. I had wrecked her spirit and reduced her to a
state of nothingness because of my faults and insecurities.

Today she stopped loving me and I find myself on the brink of utter
destruction. Wanting to reverse life and implement changes to avoid the situation that
I am currently in.

I want to tell her that I apologize for all the hurt I've caused her.
I want
to show her that if given the chance I could be all that she wants and more.
I want her to see how fucked up I was at the time and to prove to her beyond
a shadow of a doubt that I am better now.

But I can't. Too little, too late I guess. I'm dying without her. And now
I'm reduced to that same state of nothingness, all because...

She stopped loving me...

This piece is through the eyes of my bestfriend, who lost her girl due to his own fault, but is unable to convey it with words but like many ppl through tears shed on anothers shoulder
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Old 10-22-04, 03:29 PM   #2
Lyricology
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damn this shit was hot. usually ill make the structure a big part of how i rate poems n shit, cuz recently ive experimented with different structures, but this poem, which really has no set structure, i really liked. very powerful, emotional, and i loved the repetition. even with a mellow sound to the poem you can feel the love. nice work.
keep droppin hotness
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Old 10-23-04, 05:06 AM   #3
¥ung_gÅl_†®àumå
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DIS shit wos hot
nice vivid vocabulary
and a daring structure
I could feel ya frendz pain
keep dem cumin
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