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Old 10-20-04, 03:31 PM   #1
Loveliss Grandz
***cITYSLICka***
 
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U Name It!

IP: 6CEA 0327

*i Went From My Motha Stomach,past The Church Straight For The Street
-from Baby Bottles,past Pens And Pencils Straight For The Heat
-i Was Born A Gas Tank With A Leak,strike A Match And We See
-fires Ignite That'll Scortch Ya' Life
*best Believe Them Gangsta's Taught Me Right
-never Trust,whether They Friends Or Foes,they.. All Alike
-ain't No Loyalty In These Streets,fuck All That "we Boys","we Tight"
-nicca's Is Just Like Bush Once You Oil The Price
*they Turn White Like Collin Powells And Congalingus Rice
-they Told Me It's A Lot Of Haters Keep Em' All In Sight
-they Even Said Don't Put Ya' Rhymes Online Cause Even Them Ballers Bite
-it's Alright I Shake The Game And Make It Bubble Like Sprite
*and Watch Out Hoes Who Only Want Clothes And Doe
-see You Sittin' On Dubs Now They Wants To Role
-they Say I Probably Know The Broads From Long Ago
-same Pelican Bitch I Know From High School.
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Old 10-20-04, 04:18 PM   #2
Logic The Goonie
I can rap and stuff.
 
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iight heres the deal. you have some pretty good ideas for punches but you gotta learn how to word them a bit better man. like that sprite punch was quite good but the wording was a bit off. secondly you gotta work on your rhyme scheme it cant be three lines that rhyme. gottta be 2, 4,,6,8 get the idea? iight structure and flow need the most work tho, try to first even out each line on the screen and once you get good at that you can practice on evening out the SYLLABLES cuz thats what really makes something flow.
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