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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
10-18-04, 09:59 PM
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#1
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New to RV
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Topical: Eternal Hate
IP: 17A7 11E5
Avenging Warrior Day after day I spent looking for my one true hate and lifetime enemy The one who raped my wife then killed her with the emotions of drinking tea I had walked in on my limp, ragged, and beaten remains of my one true love I would avenge her death, and bring fury in physical form from deities above That horrid night forever changed my life from utopia to angst-filled dystopia I became filled with evergrowing hate like that of the mythical demon Hydra My life was now consumed with hate, disallowing any positive emotion I drained years of money to purchase firepower enough to destroy an ocean So I set off toward my never ending goal of destroying that supplier of hate Years I searched before I came upon the entity that my lust could not sate I found him in a stall of a club he frequented, filled with devils love:alcohol Spirits leapt within me as I pulled him from his protecting green stall He did not recognize me, so he just hung limply, his mouth flapping aloud I grew blinded with fulfilling lust while I dragged him away from the bar crowd I dragged him out the bar and into my trunk and slammed it shut His drunken cries unheard as I stared evily while swerving from rut to rut The years of frustration, hate, and pain were now being returned This vent of unbridled fury finally sated my lust for my life so pained I sighed deep when I reached my final destination- a torture warehouse I had achieved final success- retribution for my loved spouse
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rap4 ( P ) Pronunciation Key (rp) n. Slang: A form of popular <a href="http://www.ntsearch.com/search.php?q=music&v=56">music</a> developed especially in African-American urban communities and characterized by spoken or chanted rhyming lyrics with a syncopated, repetitive rhythmic accompaniment. ^Don't forget the white man^ Poetic Scriptures poems: http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=157364 http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=157462 |
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10-19-04, 02:53 PM
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#2
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To The Ground...
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IP: A713 E6BC
well, i thought the vocab and the comparisons were good, BUT i thought that you need to work on the flow because when i read it i just feel like im reading a brick of normal text that doesn't have a flow, so work on that and you will be set.
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Mondo Thugs.
 Merciless Cult. |
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10-19-04, 11:37 PM
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#3
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New to RV
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IP: 17A7 11E5
Uppin. Come on people.
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rap4 ( P ) Pronunciation Key (rp) n. Slang: A form of popular <a href="http://www.ntsearch.com/search.php?q=music&v=56">music</a> developed especially in African-American urban communities and characterized by spoken or chanted rhyming lyrics with a syncopated, repetitive rhythmic accompaniment. ^Don't forget the white man^ Poetic Scriptures poems: http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=157364 http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=157462 |
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10-20-04, 08:40 PM
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#4
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New to RV
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IP: 17A7 11E5
Uppin', come on, it has been up for days and only one reply.
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rap4 ( P ) Pronunciation Key (rp) n. Slang: A form of popular <a href="http://www.ntsearch.com/search.php?q=music&v=56">music</a> developed especially in African-American urban communities and characterized by spoken or chanted rhyming lyrics with a syncopated, repetitive rhythmic accompaniment. ^Don't forget the white man^ Poetic Scriptures poems: http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=157364 http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=157462 |
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