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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
10-22-04, 03:59 PM
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#1
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GoD LiKe
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Morbid
IP: 947A 2011
A terse cacophony of silent laments...
Perched in plaudits of nervous vomit I try and repent... Merchant novice in search of promise A hearse the topic... Tendencies of a serotinous character... Hailed in preposterous calibre Dropping Excalibur... An amateur coughing and mocking... Now I'm lost in this massacre - Of self with plans to escape I'm silently upset... Tryna be the best... That I can be Violently depressed No breath in my chest... Blood cold, sinuses decrept Trapped in my head's castle.. Modern society's Macbeath Eyes bleed to accept my doctrine... Pierced pupils locked in a coffin Often lost in my thoughts when.. I'm rotting from blotched sins Now that I've lost faith all my thoughts fade to phosphates No crossed aid...and the costs great......Im MorBid
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10-26-04, 02:37 PM
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#2
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New to RV
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IP: A713 E6BC
Good: vocab and rhyming
Bad:Inconsistencies of lines Decent:Emotion Good work, though a tad confusing.
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rap4 ( P ) Pronunciation Key (rp) n. Slang: A form of popular <a href="http://www.ntsearch.com/search.php?q=music&v=56">music</a> developed especially in African-American urban communities and characterized by spoken or chanted rhyming lyrics with a syncopated, repetitive rhythmic accompaniment. ^Don't forget the white man^ Poetic Scriptures poems: http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=157364 http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=157462 |
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10-26-04, 02:49 PM
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#3
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GoD LiKe
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IP: 52C7 AD22
Poetry doesnt haver consistant lines....
i dont what your trying to say these are not open mics........
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