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Old 11-15-04, 05:27 PM   #1
Effect
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Up Tight

IP: 07E0 A9F2

sometimes I just wanna shut my room and be all alone
just lets some fuckin self asteem of shout and moan
Cause I keep gettin into these fuckin petty arguments
and fuck bitch ur wasteing my time so i'll be all offence
can't stop thoughts in my head shreddin impulses sendin
all these fuckin thoughts deep in are mix wid junk blendin
to confuzed but an't gonna back down and lose
sick off the abuse bitch fuck off bitch you fuckin jews!
im swingin on my own like an army need someone to carm me
fuck all this preassure in my head is makin me go fuckin barmy
and bitch you don't judge you don't even know me so blowme
I only get on wid dudes who act kool and real who are homies
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Old 11-15-04, 05:29 PM   #2
Retro
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GAY all the WAY^
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Old 11-15-04, 05:52 PM   #3
Scareface
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You Should Tryout For LVN

IP: 28AD 5545

A mAyne You Should Tryout For LVN If You lookin For A Crew Jus Check It out in My Sig
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Old 11-15-04, 05:54 PM   #4
Retro
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LVN? Get Real Nigga, That Crew is Wack...
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Old 11-15-04, 05:55 PM   #5
Effect
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out break fuck off you punk...
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Old 11-15-04, 05:58 PM   #6
Retro
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Or What Wigga?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sinner
sometimes I just wanna shut my room and be all alone
just lets some fuckin self asteem of shout and moan

^ Sound's Like you wanna Masterbate...Ha ha
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Old 11-16-04, 08:44 AM   #7
Effect
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omg you must have fantasys that only means one thing your gay lol hahaha
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Old 11-16-04, 08:49 AM   #8
GangsStarShit
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sometimes I just wanna shut my room and be all alone
just lets some fuckin self asteem of shout and moan
^ flows but 2nd line wacked it out wit the wording

Cause I keep gettin into these fuckin petty arguments
and fuck bitch ur wasteing my time so i'll be all offence
^ weak rhyme not a strong bar

can't stop thoughts in my head shreddin impulses sendin
all these fuckin thoughts deep in are mix wid junk blendin
^ an aight bar prolly the best u put out nice wordplay

to confuzed but an't gonna back down and lose
sick off the abuse bitch fuck off bitch you fuckin jews!
^ 1st line aight but 2nd line ruined it

im swingin on my own like an army need someone to carm me
fuck all this preassure in my head is makin me go fuckin barmy
^ armys aint alone...2nd line aight

and bitch you don't judge you don't even know me so blowme
I only get on wid dudes who act kool and real who are homies
^ flowed but the closer was weak a basic multi though

Overall 4.5/10 u need to add more wordplay and also take time to word ya verse out better
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Old 11-16-04, 09:14 AM   #9
Effect
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gangsta bitch you suck go kill yourself....
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Old 11-16-04, 09:17 AM   #10
GangsStarShit
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HA HA HA Bitch if you can't take the critisism u in the wrong game give up now
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Old 11-16-04, 12:04 PM   #11
Hangar1ne
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that was whack all the way.......i was feelin it kinda.......until your little anit-semitism....nazi lil retard......figure out how to write somethin that makes sense.....i dont even wanna know what race you are with this racism bullshit......overall 0/10 i wouldah given you bettah but you dont deserve it.....try bein a lil more creative
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