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07-10-02, 03:19 PM | #1 | ||||||
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Death to a lonely soul
IP: E361 56E8
I don't even know if this is a poem, it's just some shyt I wrote, I figured I'd put it here
In the darkened Soul of a mad genius, who hides his Sorrow in the shell of his heart, Lies the dormant spirit of a Loveless infant, Corrupted and abused by those who gave him hope, that perhaps he will one day grow... Ying Yang, perfection, in his Soul, Sorrow and Love, but Sorrow encompasses the Soul, Love is surrounded and weakens, and those who wonder where his Love went, look inside themselves, and rest assured, their Love is there, as his Soul dies. The Soul, dead, cancers the mind, into a twisted form of life, which no one can live, in subjugation of suffering, the body lashes out, and destroys the Souls of the Loved. These Souls enter the mind of the demented man, through the wickedness of conscience, and torment the tortured, until he is unable to control that which was forced upon him, by those with Love, who spared none. He rips his decayed Soul from his chest, crushing his Sorrow, and destroying his mind." And another little one Should I be destined, to walk in the Marshes of Life, wandering in the Muck of Deceit and Dirtiness of Betrayal, and emerge only to be covered by the Leeches of Love Snakes of Friendship? |
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07-11-02, 09:04 AM | #2 | ||||||
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IP: F564 0E15
both these poems had strong emotions coming outta them, but if u wanted to perfect them, u could make bars (//)... it truly helps out with the flow and the way the person percieves the poem, because a poems feeling can be changed by the flow..... the first peice, if u add bars, would be a truly wonderful peice... the words r meaningful and powerful, and the message is strong....if u can, take the time to use the //s, and keep it flowin
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07-11-02, 09:17 AM | #3 | ||||||
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IP: 9C58 3FF3
i agree with monkey. nice show of emotion! keep it coming!!
check out some of my drops!! |
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07-11-02, 08:50 PM | #4 | ||||||
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IP: 1D24 32EC
This was deep ...
flow was a lil off ... but it was there! Mos def a powerful poem! pz |
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07-12-02, 09:19 PM | #5 | ||||||
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IP: 4577 CD9A
now see this was ill and as for your second question its
hell no but thats the way people are and thats life nyce write |
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