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Old 10-15-04, 05:14 PM   #1
In-Vision
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Text Record: 22-1
::Perfect::World::

IP: AF76 A123

As I close my eyes and try to relax, I drift off, escape-ism..
where mothers keep babies and fathers don't rape women..
I'm floating, feeling weightless, but i'm still grounded..
zoned out, when the music stops, my hearts still poundin..
In unconsious patterns showin signs of music in the soul..
people hate me,regardless all i can do in return, is console..
sometimes i lose my grip and my life spirals out of control..
and deciphering reality becomes my one and only goal..
when life has turned for the worst good memories evaporate..
I just pray i reach you through this ink, drop the gun, lets clap the hate..

I must be dreaming, for once my mom isn't bictchin..
Pops isn't drunk, it smells like theres food in the kitchen..
My sisters arn't fighting, there both readin scripture..
And I'm the number 1 artist, with verbs i paint pictures..
the dog isn't barkin, he no longer fears strangers..
they are harmless, will it be like this years later?.
I guess i never dropped out, my gpa is a solid 3.5
and everyones honest, no need to say "keep those lies"..
this world is perfect, flawless in every way possible..
i ask myself, "could it be better" than answer "impossible"..


How did this just happen? fuck, i forgot it's all a dream..
Funny how the longer I'm in it, the more real it all seems..
i stroll through the block, and i see theres no graffitti..
no one askin for pennis, no ones hungry or needy..
Talk to my homie, he's a ball player, low on knowledge..
Low and behold dudes not playin, he's goin to college..
My friends gonna be a rapper, atleast i thought he was..
now he wants to be a doctor, and learn what the body does..
I love all this, but i know damn good and well it's just a fallacy..
I better wake up quick before i lose grips of reality..


What the fuck is goin on now, everyone is different..
no more of lifes lessons, tragedy can't leave an imprint..
it's like we're under a spell, everyone seems to be flawless..
no more crack heads and rappers, just intellectuals and doctors..
If it wasn't for social problems, what the fuck would i write about?.
without inspiration, good is callused, creativity is not aloud..
we are no longer unique, we're just generic ass, clones..
Our purpose eliminated, like throwing nothing but glass stones..
i guess we need chaos and turmoil, well it's my inclination..
to fuck things up again, perfection destroys inspiration..
__________________
Seek & Destroy
We have fun in my basement
Time is not long, and indecision is hells cemment. So the well is rented, untill heaven is relevant. Untill then, to be eloquent, sex cells, so le'ts cellibate.


"watch what you watchin...fox keeps feedin' us toxin's..stop sleepin' start thinkin outside of the box and unplug from the matrix doctrine....but watch what you say cause big brother is watchin" - nas - sly fox


The I.H.C.J.S.F.M.T.R.H.P.M.M.W.T.S.M.S.I.T.F.F.W.A.S. O Crew
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Old 10-15-04, 05:17 PM   #2
Ragnarok
...The Four Horsemen...
 
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That is dope...................
i'll edit with good feedback later
__________________
War|Pestilence|
Death|Famine|


|Atrocious|
|Corruptive|Depraved|
|Heinous|Malevolent|Sinister|



That's pretty fucking evil to me.....



Apocalypse.... In a different kind of way...
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Old 10-16-04, 06:57 PM   #3
In-Vision
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From: memphis
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uppin for some feedback...
__________________
Seek & Destroy
We have fun in my basement
Time is not long, and indecision is hells cemment. So the well is rented, untill heaven is relevant. Untill then, to be eloquent, sex cells, so le'ts cellibate.


"watch what you watchin...fox keeps feedin' us toxin's..stop sleepin' start thinkin outside of the box and unplug from the matrix doctrine....but watch what you say cause big brother is watchin" - nas - sly fox


The I.H.C.J.S.F.M.T.R.H.P.M.M.W.T.S.M.S.I.T.F.F.W.A.S. O Crew
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Old 10-16-04, 07:01 PM   #4
Key...
You Love My Style.
 
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Depthness is felt emotions were there transitions could be lil betta to make it more smoother flow but i was feelin this

In unconsious patterns showin signs of music in the soul..
people hate me,regardless all i can do in return, is console..

^^Damn................deep. shit fam
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Old 10-17-04, 08:21 AM   #5
TuNiT
Light Weight
 
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diz is da shiiii dat im talking bouts! it wuz pure class i luvd it!!!!!!!
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Old 10-20-04, 05:05 PM   #6
In-Vision
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From: memphis
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Text Record: 22-1
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uppin for the people...i write for the people.....
__________________
Seek & Destroy
We have fun in my basement
Time is not long, and indecision is hells cemment. So the well is rented, untill heaven is relevant. Untill then, to be eloquent, sex cells, so le'ts cellibate.


"watch what you watchin...fox keeps feedin' us toxin's..stop sleepin' start thinkin outside of the box and unplug from the matrix doctrine....but watch what you say cause big brother is watchin" - nas - sly fox


The I.H.C.J.S.F.M.T.R.H.P.M.M.W.T.S.M.S.I.T.F.F.W.A.S. O Crew
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Old 10-21-04, 03:10 PM   #7
Grammar Popo
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From: Mesa, Arizona
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Very, very good. I cannot think of anything negative.
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rap4 ( P ) Pronunciation Key (rp)
n. Slang: A form of popular <a href="http://www.ntsearch.com/search.php?q=music&v=56">music</a> developed especially in African-American urban communities and characterized by spoken or chanted rhyming lyrics with a syncopated, repetitive rhythmic accompaniment.

^Don't forget the white man^
Poetic Scriptures poems:
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=157364
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=157462
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Old 10-21-04, 08:59 PM   #8
Know-Gimix
The Ups and Downs of Life
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by In-Vision
As I close my eyes and try to relax, I drift off, escape-ism..
where mothers keep babies and fathers don't rape women..
I'm floating, feeling weightless, but i'm still grounded..
zoned out, when the music stops, my hearts still poundin..
In unconsious patterns showin signs of music in the soul..
people hate me,regardless all i can do in return, is console..
sometimes i lose my grip and my life spirals out of control..
and deciphering reality becomes my one and only goal..
when life has turned for the worst good memories evaporate..
I just pray i reach you through this ink, drop the gun, lets clap the hate..



that openin parry got me real interested.... this shit is straight fire... Im still readin it, but you got excellent flow for text, You should start doin audios-- Nice lines, I usually dont enjoy reading text but ur shit was entertaining... keep droppin fammyz.... oh yeah it got better
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Old 10-26-04, 12:39 AM   #9
La Cosa Nostra
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This shit was good bro.. Some really nicly worded lines in it. Kept on topic, I would of liked to see more multies and internals.
But overall it was good shit. I liked these lines.

Talk to my homie, he's a ball player, low on knowledge..
Low and behold dudes not playin, he's goin to college..

If it wasn't for social problems, what the fuck would i write about?.
without inspiration, good is callused, creativity is not aloud..

^Both pretty fuken good.. Only thing I can tell you to work on, is your flow. Because there was one or two parts that had too many syllables & other small issues where there was no assonance between lines.. But it could have been overlooked.

So good shit there.
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Old 11-14-04, 09:59 PM   #10
Ragnarok
...The Four Horsemen...
 
Posts: 108
Joined: Aug 2004
From: Norse Mythology Hell
Status: Offline
Text Record: 8-1
IP: 98C0 39B0

wow... nice drop,.................................
__________________
War|Pestilence|
Death|Famine|


|Atrocious|
|Corruptive|Depraved|
|Heinous|Malevolent|Sinister|



That's pretty fucking evil to me.....



Apocalypse.... In a different kind of way...
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Old 11-14-04, 11:39 PM   #11
In-Vision
Out-Spoken
 
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Posts: 2,011
Joined: Apr 2004
From: memphis
Status: Offline
Text Record: 22-1
IP: AF76 A123

thanks for the comment.....any up for leavin feedback? or can I just get some more comments...
__________________
Seek & Destroy
We have fun in my basement
Time is not long, and indecision is hells cemment. So the well is rented, untill heaven is relevant. Untill then, to be eloquent, sex cells, so le'ts cellibate.


"watch what you watchin...fox keeps feedin' us toxin's..stop sleepin' start thinkin outside of the box and unplug from the matrix doctrine....but watch what you say cause big brother is watchin" - nas - sly fox


The I.H.C.J.S.F.M.T.R.H.P.M.M.W.T.S.M.S.I.T.F.F.W.A.S. O Crew
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Old 11-15-04, 12:20 PM   #12
Loveliss Grandz
***cITYSLICka***
 
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Damn Good Drop.feelin' It.10/10 Nuff Said......
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I'm like CHUCKy dyin' to live in the flesh free of the BATTERY,
ASSAULT n ROBBERY rapidly,wishin' cupid would clap at me
N lift this evil spell so I can experience happilly evil backwards-see(down there)
EVIL............backwards =............LIVE
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