I'm So Scared To Grow Old The Older I Get The More Cold
I'm 16 I Feel Ive Wasted Time I Wanna Make The Most Of My Soul
But Instead Life Tracks Is Down And Everythings Gonna Attack
Leaving You Smacked Not Gettin Up And You Can't Even Get Back
Thats Why I Rap To Get Back At The Stinkin World And Just Snap
But My Out Look On Life Is Destroyed I Feel Like My Spirits Been Trapped
Becoming Bitter About Life Days For Me Never Ever Seem To Be Bright
Everythings So Tight I Just Wanna Fly Away From Here Like A Kite
Instead Of Gettin Viciouses Bites Thats Giving Me No Reason 2 Smile
I Hardly Ever Smile Why Would I When The Expression Will Last A While
The Truth Is Theres Nothing To Smile About In This God Forsaken World
Things Get To Me So Bad I Simply Hate This Sicknin Hateing World
My Words Are Brighter Than The Sun And The Shineing Moon
About To Erupt Soon Leaving Your Whole Soul Feeling Bloom
You Can Say That Im Exagerating But Im Just Fuckin Escelating
My Thoughts Are Coming So Quick To Me And There Penertrating
Just Elevating And Im So Happy Now I Can Share Ya My Points Of Views
Instead Of Hearing Bad News Im Giving You All Of My Vital Clues
Leaving Other Mc's Out Your Gettin Sweeped Up By My Currents
I'm Surounded By Paracites I Hope One Day My Pain Ends
But Till Then It Intends And Later On It's Gonna Be Dark Again
Which Is Gettin To My Brain Now Im Full Of Nothing Inside But Hate
I Feel Like My Steps Are To Late It's Like Everythings Tempted My Fate
Gettin Treated Like Shit By My Parents Keep Pushing Me And Im'a Break

l

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I'd like some feed back on this please

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Solid drop! Emotion was dope, straight spitting from the core and I think most of us can easily relate to the things you stated. Vocab was good and so was your structure and flow (had few multis here and there which improved this). Had good imagery, definately feeling this verse!

Good job man...

DQ

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I liked it I think it had some good stuff in it ur flow was good ur strucutre was iight and ur imagry was comming up in the making I can see it.
good job homes

8.7/10

hit up on my open mic link peace

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vs super

http://community.rapverse.com/showb...918915&posted=1

Thanks alot I'm thankfal for the love I happen to be good at pulling emotion and pretty good at rapping about things that I see everyday... I am in the making and I wanna get a chance to prove that I can really impress... peace

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Holy Shit Sinner elevated son...i read this and was like no this ain't Sinner...sorry but that was my opinion this was a very good piece the flow dope...rhyming was decent multies internal rhymes structure good topic you used was good for an open mic this was a good piece Sinner keep it up an um...wheres ya audio???

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MySpace

R.I.P OMB

To Be Honest...I Don't Know Why I Bothered