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07-08-02, 11:12 AM | #1 | ||||||
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Lyrically Flawless
IP: 9145 D086
My tongue rips you apart like a boy verses a shark/ that pierces your heart, with 30th centuries cyborg parts/ I’m lyrically flawless, punch you and leave you jawless/ fake rappers try to elevate wit fork lifts/ try to climb my peak, I plummet your corpse down my summit of thoughts/ throw thunderbolts at you, and watch you do summersaults/ kamikaze tactics, have you doing back flips, reach your building/ bruise your emotions wit a fist just to hurt your feelings/ your chances of accurately battling me, are like winning the lottery/ so I just spin your head, like ancient Aztec pottery/ get the stuffing knocked outta ya like a piñata/ spit a obstacle so hot that it will singe your hair floccules/ I’ll spilt the molecules of a asteroid, and watch it bust/ The earth gets hit with the crust, while the galaxy gets engulfed from the cosmic dust/ I got to rush, and cast a downpour of acid and rain just to see your bones rust/
aight i think thats it. I might add some more to it later. holla one |
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07-08-02, 11:14 AM | #2 | ||||||
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IP: 9145 D086
oh yeah how do u get points?
uppin for honest coments. holla one |
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07-08-02, 12:40 PM | #3 | ||||||
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IP: 2B1E 02DC
that was dope R ... "lyrically flawless, punch you and leave you jawless/ fake rappers try to elevate wit fork lifts" yeah thats all good. Just the "I got to rush" bit at the end i thought could change .. it sounds omnipotent till that comes up
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07-08-02, 07:56 PM | #4 | ||||||
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IP: D069 6C00
Nice wordplay and punches, and you got a good style to your flow, consistent rhythm... Didnt like how ya formatted did, space ya work out and ish... Also didnt like how it had no substance, I thought you were gonna take this somewhere, the ending seemed a bit rushed, and I thought you coulda twisted it to something iLL... There was jus nothing to it, noticed the punches and wordplay... Vocab was aight, nothing extreme, nothing basic, it was solid and aight, keep spitting and elevating, try working on something that would be interesting to read... Keep em coming...
Peez... |
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07-08-02, 08:57 PM | #5 | ||||||
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IP: 1636 8BC9
thanx for the comments yall. i never really finished, so thats why its kinda hangin there at the end. I wrote to a beat, and thats when it switched up to the chrous part of the beat.
holla one |
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