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Old 11-10-05, 08:41 AM   #1
Adam
 
Posts: 13,383
From: Canada
Monsters Among Men

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Monsters Among Men

I'd question mans thinking, but we've allready lost..
Countless bodies tossed within our world's holocaust
From soldiers bossed by higher powers driven by greed
Watching children bleed, to help their leaders succeed
And we all feed on our dinners, while others are starving
It alarms me, we just watch as the population's carving
Into a world where adults are found harming our youth..
It sounds sad and sickening, but it's the horrible truth
It's just ruthless how parents easily get away with abuse..
Drink booze, let loose, and hit their kids till they're bruised
I'm confused at the fact that we get in this state of mind
Is it that we try? Or is it just a bitter part of mankind?
Why can't we leave it behind? Every year it gets worse
So I sit here and pray to reverse the path of this curse..
Let's think first upon action, so mistakes won't happen again
Learn to think with our hearts, and kill the monsters in men.
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Old 11-10-05, 08:56 AM   #3
Dex
Gods Of War! -yeah im one
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Red Bull
Monsters Among Men

I'd question mans thinking, but we've allready lost..
Countless bodies tossed within our world's holocaust
From soldiers bossed by higher powers driven by greed
Watching children bleed, to help their leaders succeed
And we all feed on our dinners, while others are starving
It alarms me, we just watch as the population's carving
Into a world where adults are found harming our youth..
It sounds sad and sickening, but it's the horrible truth
It's just ruthless how parents easily get away with abuse..
Drink booze, let loose, and hit their kids till they're bruised
I'm confused at the fact that we get in this state of mind
Is it that we try? Or is it just a bitter part of mankind?
Why can't we leave it behind? Every year it gets worse
So I sit here and pray to reverse the path of this curse..
Let's think first upon action, so mistakes won't happen again
Learn to think with our hearts, and kill the monsters in men.



this is fucking dopeness!!

it flows so good, the vocab is cool, some good words used. the structure was bang on target with some nice rhymes which made it an easily enjoyable read. Im glad i took the 2 mins out to read and will go rite bak to the top and read it again.

I loved it, good msg which you really forced home. the peice was deep brother. dont no how long it took you to write but you should be proud
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Old 11-10-05, 12:02 PM   #4
Adam
 
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From: Canada
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Thanks for the feedback man.
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Old 11-10-05, 06:39 PM   #5
Adam
 
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From: Canada
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Upping for some more feedback.
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Old 11-10-05, 07:01 PM   #6
Macca
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nice. another amazingly dope piece from you. you know you should collab with me. just a thought cuz I'm tryna think of a topic and it is somewhat related to this. lol. but nice drop man. I mean this is the best I've seen that is related to this kinda topic. nice. can ya rtf on my old ass thread misery. no one leaves feed.
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Old 11-10-05, 11:00 PM   #7
Adam
 
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From: Canada
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Thanks for the feed man.
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Old 11-11-05, 12:04 AM   #8
M.C. Streak
Middle Weight
 
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From: Rhode Island, USA
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was this meant to be a rap verse 'cause otherwise this is a great poem man..you do have skills at what you do...I mean no offense BTW
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Old 11-11-05, 11:46 AM   #9
Kawn Flixx
FUCK STROBE
 
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This was a pretty dope drop from you red bull, i was liking it , you had nice multies, good emotions and good imagery were put into this peice..you had decent wordplay and vocab usuage..it was overall a pretty decent drop...felt it could have been alittle longer though..
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Old 11-12-05, 11:51 AM   #10
.Poetic.
I'm a closet fag.
 
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From: Colorado
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This is one hell of a dope OM..
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Old 11-12-05, 12:51 PM   #11
-JaredoN-
New to RV
 
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definitely an ill piece right here, ya flow was on point, technically sound, and ya point as relayed perfectly..keep droppin bro, i'll be on the look out..
Ez
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Old 11-12-05, 05:31 PM   #12
Po It.
Fuck White Folks
 
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Let's think first upon action, so mistakes won't happen again
Learn to think with our hearts, and kill the monsters in men.


Ending Bar was a smash. Good Read.
Nice Structure...Decent Multiples.


RTF.
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Old 11-13-05, 05:25 PM   #13
13th.
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From: U.K
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Dope dawg.....pure dope

it had a real sweet flow straight from the start.Deep shit but all true aswell.Deep emotions, i know that most peeps feel the same! Vocab on point all the way through!!!!

id love to collab sometime dawg
keep it up!!!
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Old 11-14-05, 04:11 AM   #14
gladbag
Light Weight
 
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A digraced situation how you face castration ready to
Neuter your computer better hire a tutor and steady crew
If I remove your nuts you’ll groove as a hardcore slut
bury this jerk and his literary work and just ignore your butt
wear bling rapping and cause things to happen best cling
to napkins they dries eyes while you cries and tries to sing
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Old 11-14-05, 12:15 PM   #15
Spektikul
The Original Half Ass King
 
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From: Canada
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Ummmmmm? ^

...anyways, I thought this was a pretty slick OM.

werd.
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