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Old 01-06-05, 12:14 PM   #1
Premanition
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Energy For Life

IP: 889B A4FD

from battle with final
.
.
.
THE ENERGY OF LIFE
.
.
.
Energy of a kinetic source cause friction in veins…
Cells of blood raise to temperature of unknown strains…
Heart distressed, vibrations like earthquake on stefascope…
Uncompromising sweat surface, but glands forever cope…
One goal apparent, pupil’s iris has surroundings in focus…
Uncommon situation wen eyes c things that brains not noticed…
Pressure exerted on shoulders like an unhealthy weight…
Clock ticking away but result of question is harmfully late…
Difficult to imagine ‘force’ required to succeed here…
Exhale dramatically slow in failing bid to relieve fear…
Faces of loved ones shadow sunlight with expectation…
Failure ‘greeted’, well never, then just a distant relation…
Communication breakdown, not one wave of sound…
Negative vibes breath, while hope seems nearly drowned…
Step forward, one glance behind at the sea of spectators…
Extreme gasp for air, each lung a viscous respirator…
Nessel into blocks, visible vessels through arm tension…
Not to mention this pain on carves is now torrential…
Head lifted, parallel to line the promised destination…
Silent not a sound, no excuse for lack in concentration…

.
.
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BANG
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Excruciating pain, an extraordinary push…
Everything thrown a’head’, even blood in all the rush…
Magnetic is the energy, the finish now in sight…
One last push forward and everything will surely be alright…
Mission complete, the tunnel descends and ‘life’ is bright…

As I awake from my coma to see family faces in the light…
.
.
.
.
Never Underestimate Yourself In The ‘RACE’ For Life!


drop link with-in 24 hours to where u gave feed back on or this will be closed.......

im just doing my job......

we gotta get open mic more active so it can stay alive....
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Last edited by intensify effect : 01-07-05 at 10:46 AM.
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Old 01-06-05, 12:16 PM   #2
Mentor
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it's really good the structure was pretty good and and u ryhmed without fallin off but there was only one thing wrong wit it it really didn't make any sense
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Old 01-06-05, 02:44 PM   #3
Tha Unknown (Uk)
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I'm feelin tha drop..........love da wordplay............an great structure.........
keep drop dem flames bra
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Old 01-07-05, 10:44 AM   #4
Premanition
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hood_dawg
it's really good the structure was pretty good and and u ryhmed without fallin off but there was only one thing wrong wit it it really didn't make any sense



thanx but it did make sense read over it again n think about it....

uppin
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Old 01-07-05, 10:45 AM   #5
intensify effect
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drop link with-in 24 hours to where u gave feed back on or this will be closed.......

im just doing my job......

we gotta get open mic more active so it can stay alive....
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Old 01-07-05, 03:10 PM   #6
Premanition
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will do ^^^^


uppin
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