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Old 01-22-05, 07:59 AM   #1
Effect
..::shut the fuck up::..
 
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Posts: 1,089
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Text Record: 10-14
Audio Record: 0-0
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Stressing Me

IP: 07E0 A9F2

Can't believe it would come to this annoying life that we are tracking
im blacking out from my rapping i'm trapping mc's and then scrapping
sick of all the shit I recieve trying to block it out not even believe
I try and weave around people escaping out wanting no peace
pissed off about everything pissed off about life pissed off about lives
im coming out with kifies so duck the fuck down if u wanna survive
But I still stay spittin even though I do live in this place shitty britain
I can complain so much real british people come across to me so lame
why is everything the same nothing ever seems to be entertaining
all there is is raining arguments and my ears bleed from complaining
I can't take the stress anymore im always gettin ready for war
got something against with me and i'm cutting you up for shore
I just wanna have you erazed then set you on fire in a blaze
theres no one as crazed fuck your fame it was just a phase
your goin wid out a trace im coming out spittin the best
taking bullets to my chest im like a fuckin bullet proof vest
no one to test having you killed for less and your family rest
shootin you down and then leaving your dead bodys infest
im so depressed im crazy taking all of your bullshit to my head
thinkin about the dead and im gonna rip you leaving you in pegs
instead i'd prefere to burry you and all the people who knew
theres no damage really done cause I got proof with no clues
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Last edited by Effect : 01-22-05 at 08:11 AM.
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Old 01-22-05, 12:53 PM   #2
Dex
Gods Of War! -yeah im one
 
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Joined: Oct 2004
From: UK
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Text Record: 20-13
IP: C2DF 7A85

nice drop indeed my friend.

Id be damn proud if this was my work

Its like this:

The multis where there all the way thru in a great way.
Was obviously straight from the heart and it seems to me you were exloding onto text. Great emotion involved
More wordplay and metphors needed to make it tip-top but cos of the vocab high standard and multis being slapped in my face like mad i have to say this is fucking the dog's bollox!!!
The flow was well good but the structure needed a couple breaks in it to make it more pleasing to the eye. Maybe a couple more light-hearted things in it too just so we are not getting too depressed reading it But all-in-all I love it.

Stay up brother


8.5/10
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Old 01-22-05, 01:23 PM   #3
Parallel
Banned: Cheating
 
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Text Record: 8-4
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i thought the flow was off try using less words to flow bette rlike 6-14 depends on the stucture if you have to use mroe to match your stucture then do so but make sure the stucutre is good but dont use so many words damn....but other den that the flow lacked so ti kinda threw me off but the emotion was good n shit the vocab was alrigth coulda used more complex words and it would of been a lil better but fo sho try usuing less words in a line to flow better..ight pz...but it was rlgith just keep working

check my OM's Links in the sig
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