get your 'shovels' out people....cos its going to be long part of the 'journey'....



Climbing the mountain of my poetic existance...
i drag my sword up the cold rocky side...
hands freezing i can hardly move them..
deep piercing pain runs down my spine...

avalanches are made by my epic reality...
rain falls when my tears are shed...
wind turning into a gale as my anger rises
the white of the icey snow turns dark red...

a storm is brewing upon this towering mass of life...
summoning it up from within, to exact eternal justice..
and so the scales of time remain balanced on there tip..
as i wait in agony, for this force to slowly take away my bliss...

Reaching a platform where i can take rest and shelter...
I lay my sword beside me as i sit in this small damp cave
taking solace within my one true light amidst the darkness..
but as it gradually fades, the lightning hits hard and deep...

Then comes the thunder with a rumble of defiant anger..
As the rain comes pouring down heavy and thick
flooding the cave with the blood of integral vengence...
As i make it outside, i feel the pain within, oh so sick...

Served with bitterness and spice, i saw it coming for an age...
the taste of crushed hearts within a nutshell of poison...
a cold black mist gathers around the broken warrior sage...
crying silently for mercy, he feels and sees nothing but pain..

Suddenly the wind begins to gather pace, the loose rocks taken by the force of the gale...
arise the phoenix from the ashes of darkness, back into the clear skies of light...
Still it may exist haunting within, but now begins the next part of this epic tale...
For he shall exorcise and try to dig it deep within, as his journey continues so surreal yet true....

Grasping my sword firm and tight, i look up at this mountain of destiny in awe and defiance...
realisation and enlightement beckons, upon the path i choose to take....
for once more it is time to climb, to ascend to new heights of mortal living...
so there i begin with simplicity in mind - but the lion within cannot be caged - complexity will be found....

this was deep... deeper than anyone else but u could go... i truly dont understand every element of this peice because im simple minded, but i loved what i got from it... awesome job.. keep it flowin

i like th elil intro.....lol neva was much on shovelinh ish...but you kno...the ni was like het YES were goinfg on a journey!!!!!!!! whick completly had me stoked.....and as i was reading i was totaly picturing things you were saying so much that i started drawing sme of em on microsoft paint.....lol i was just drawing away then it ended and i wa sad cuz i didnt get to draw no more so ......guess what..........i reread it lmao.....no joke maybe il lsend you the picture of the thunder eh?........nice wrok there swety il lbe uppin dont fret

this was very nice.. ..flow was on point, i don't use tha word ill very often but shit.. ..tha content was ill

"Climbing the mountain of my poetic existance...
i drag my sword up the cold rocky side...
hands freezing i can hardly move them..
deep piercing pain runs down my spine..."

^^ openin lines were koo, got me a lil interested.. ..then you had me wanted to read more with tha followin 4 lines.. ..

"taking solace within my one true light amidst the darkness..
but as it gradually fades, the lightning hits hard and deep...

Then comes the thunder with a rumble of defiant anger..
As the rain comes pouring down heavy and thick"

^^ good shit.. ..

"Served with bitterness and spice, i saw it coming for an age...
the taste of crushed hearts within a nutshell of poison...
a cold black mist gathers around the broken warrior sage...
crying silently for mercy, he feels and sees nothing but pain..

Suddenly the wind begins to gather pace, the loose rocks taken by the force of the gale...
arise the phoenix from the ashes of darkness, back into the clear skies of light...
Still it may exist haunting within, but now begins the next part of this epic tale..."

^^ my favorite part.. ..ill.. ..

"realisation and enlightement beckons, upon the path i choose to take....
for once more it is time to climb, to ascend to new heights of mortal living...
so there i begin with simplicity in mind - but the lion within cannot be caged - complexity will be found...."

^^ closed tha poem very nice.. ..lookin forward to readin more of ya poems.. ..keep writin


¤DoS¤

whoa--i dug this alot cuz i awoke this morn an wanted to hang my self(iin the mental sense)--i feel it cuz it makes me all sorts of stoked to read some poetry--i left the country for about a week--im definatley not stoked to be back in reality--anyway mad respect on the verse

peace

ola, throwing own on my 2 cents on this. this peice had good storytellin and it was very descriptive with each brar ya wrote. the structure kinda fell off with every stanza being bigger then the 1 before. ya could flip that with the stanza reppin the odds are stacking against ya, but i wasn't feelin that with this. it was agood peice like i said before nice storytellin and imagery and thts what im sayin again. peace.
joey