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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
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| View Poll Results: Who won this battle? | |||
| Drama Queen |
  
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5 | 83.33% |
| Architect |
  
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1 | 16.67% |
| Voters: 6. You may not vote on this poll | |||
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03-05-05, 12:29 AM
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#1
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GG Haterz
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Drama Queen vs Architect
IP:
Topical Rules:
30 Lines Max No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting No hopefull votes Topic: Light Through the Window Good luck Drama  Minimum posts to vote: 350 Check in by: 03-08-05 at 12:29 AM Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in. |
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03-05-05, 06:45 PM
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#2
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Guest
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IP:
Architect has ACCEPTED this battle on 03-05-05 06:45 PM.
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03-06-05, 05:40 AM
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#3
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Guest
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IP:
Drama Queen has ACCEPTED this battle on 03-06-05 05:40 AM.
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03-08-05, 03:47 PM
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#4
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Odi et Amo
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IP:
Darkness surrounding the room, trapped inside this shadow Craving to escape life's misery but she's glad though Now that she has found a way to reconcile with her past By making sure there's no future to build the contrast Laying in the bed where spine-tingling highs were once felt Where a blessing or curse was made and the cards were dealt . . . The innocent creature that grew inside her, so beguiled In mommy's belly set...a calmly delicate little child That underlined her own flaws and the mistakes she made Faint light of the candle reflecting in the knife blade Cold metal pushing against her skin, deeper in her vein To end this ultimate fight she could no longer maintain There is no point in competing with such a pure being She never thought the rush of blood could be so freeing . . . "Mommy mommy,look look! My tooth finally fell out!" . . . Oh how that foolish happiness in his eyes lit up the room Such a perfect little angel, once so safe inside her womb The reason for living became the one cause of her demise The simple smile reminded her how much she hated goodbyes But by looking at him she realized what she couldn't reach That ignorance and naive sense that is shown in his speech And so she becomes one with the knife, causing a red flood A ray of light through the window reflecting in her blood
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Authentik Intelligence  ...The future is mine... |
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03-08-05, 05:58 PM
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#5
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GG Haterz
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IP:
Midnight Darkness swarms around me clinging to my skin, Asking me questions of who I am and where I have been. My back is weighted and I feel like I am about to fall, My hands search around as I begin to feel around and crawl. This hallway just never seems to come to an end, I try to focus in on one voice, but in the bends I lose my friend. My mind begins to wander and think about being alone, Why do I feel as if I am trapped inside my own home? I wait for hours until my vision becomes apparant, Emptiness like a street in the morning, I am left with my merit. Noon This light cascades vision which enables my tongue, but with my senses come the feelings of loving some one. What is done to my ego that it should be hurt in this way? That what she can say can make me wish I died that day. I peer into the window and view the rainbowed color fragments, I caught the light, but it disappeared in my hand! Where was it? I just had it! The sun rises and dies with the tick of the unholy time machine, Just sitting and waiting for someone to come and intervene. Sun is gone and now my day has just begun it's final turn, I become blind and lose everything that during the day I earned. Night I wander throughout my house looking for my "common cents", Find my Bible, but it is too dark for me to read or repent! This darkness swarms and sickens me to the last bone I embrace, With such sickening pleasure that I can't bear to feel my face. To know I embrace this darkness makes me feel disgraced, Never have I ran so fast to try to achieve something in such haste. I wait until my day comes and I see what my life holds, But until that hour comes, I will just wait for the light through the window.
__________________
 Quote:
For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me  ^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly. |
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03-09-05, 07:22 AM
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#6
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Odi et Amo
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IP:
Dopeness...
Really enjoyed reading your piece, let's get some votes for this... DQ
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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03-09-05, 10:24 AM
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#7
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GG Haterz
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IP:
Same for you. Good battle, sorry I came rather weak. I wrote two verses in an hour.
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Quote:
For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me ^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly. |
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03-09-05, 01:51 PM
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#8
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Moderator
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IP:
Voted For: Architect
Architect structure is good.. flow is on target.. you had good transitions from line to line.. your imagery was above average.. as was the emotion.. overall i thought you went about the topic in a chill way.. it was an interesting read.. Drama Queen structure is good.. flow is also on target.. you didnt transition between lines at all.. your imagery was alright.. sometimes it seemed it wasnt very good though.. emotion was good.. overall i dont really like the way you went about portraying the topic.. it seemed it should have been elaborated more.. Overall both had a good structure and flow.. both had some pretty nice emotion.. Archtict had the better transitions in between lines.. as well better imagery and i liked the way he went about discussing the topic more.. so.. basing off of that.. I got Architect taking this.. pretty good battle yo.. VOTE - ARCHITECT Please hit up the link in my sig.. |
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03-09-05, 03:47 PM
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#9
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The Original Half Ass King
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IP:
Voted For: Drama Queen
Alright alright...this was a very close battle in my opinion. Lemme critique what I liked and disliked about both verses: Drama Queen: Your verse was deep girl. I enjoyed reading yours a bit more than Arch because you stayed on topic really well. I think the topic "Light throught a Window" leaves both of yall to basically be able to go wherever you want with the verse. I really like the way you went with it. Your verse was kinda mysterious which I also enjoyed. It really made me have to read it over a second time to put it all together. I think your vocab was not bad. But I think after reading arch's verse it made your vocab seem a bit more elementary. Mabye next time try to up your vocab a bit to match your opponents. Also, maybe change your verse structuring for topicals too next time. Because against a verse like Arch's, made it look a little bit less advanced. But like I said, I really enjoyed reading yours because of how you went into detail abou tthe window and how it tied in with your topical. Very well done. Architect: Your verse was pretty good dawg. All around very strong. I really enjoyed your choice of diction. Your vocab was very descriptive and enabled me to invision what was going on better. Also, your verse structuring was very neat and organized. pretty much an all around solid verse. However...I wasnt really feeling the way you went with your topic. Like no hate or anything, I just feel it could have been so much better. If your feeling it tho Im glad but compared to Dramas I dont think its was as good topic-wise. I donno if the polls will show that you took this or if she took this but it was a very good battle between the both of yall. honest vote. V/Drama Queen............... RTF...link is in sig. |
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03-09-05, 05:15 PM
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#10
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GG Haterz
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IP:
Lmao, two RTF and both for the same battle. Thanks for the votes.
__________________
Quote:
For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me ^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly. |
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03-12-05, 04:51 AM
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#11
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Odi et Amo
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IP:
Upping for votes, it's nice read people...vote up!
DQ
__________________
Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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03-12-05, 10:08 AM
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#12
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GG Haterz
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IP:
Upping.......................................... .
__________________
Quote:
For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me ^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly. |
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03-16-05, 01:36 AM
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#13
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As Seen On T.V.
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IP:
Voted For: Drama Queen
one of the best ive read, lately.... reminds me of the lyric days. Darkness surrounding the room, trapped inside this shadow Craving to escape life's misery but she's glad though Now that she has found a way to reconcile with her past By making sure there's no future to build the contrast Laying in the bed where spine-tingling highs were once felt Where a blessing or curse was made and the cards were dealt most def my favorite lines of the battle, these lines killed it. i invisioned the whole run up, while i was reading, nice piece girl... i love the whole read. you have the greatest style in the world, im jocking your structure. your imagery killed em, have any more open? word i wanna read. nice pieces to both, but DQ brought the A game. v/ DQ
__________________
quote your own damn lyrics...
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03-16-05, 07:15 AM
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#14
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Odi et Amo
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IP:
Whoa...*blushes*
Thanks for all the fully explained votes, glad you enjoyed reading it... Just hit me up with links to give feedback on OM or to check out some battles, I don't mind... Upping this DQ
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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03-16-05, 10:42 AM
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#15
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..Rv Sucks..
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IP:
Voted For: Drama Queen
wow......nice topic here gold-aiight you gave a lot of imagry in your drop.....the flow was flowing but couldve been better...your vocab wasnt too bad but it sutited your verse......i thought your drop was very good infact i read your twice just to see if i liked it better......but there was very little emotion in your drop.....which kinda effected the outcome of my vote.....i felt you came at the topic kinda simple i mean it was good it just coulda been conveyed in a different way.....but it was a good drop keep it up drama-aiight your verse was just soo crazy.....your flow was very good.....i liked your vocab usage like golden it suited your verse.......which there wasnt too much or too little but close to just enough......your imagry was amazing....i really liked how you threw the reader around with her thoughts then all the sudden like i thought it was a child wanting to commit suicide but it was a mother....which was a nice twist.....then like you didnt stray off topic cuz you talked about blood then a tooth fallin out....lol...it was good.....your emotion in this was intense i really felt it was a major aspect of your drop...which stood out more...i just felt your verse was conveyed beautifully.....good job..and keep it up girl good drop both of you... v/drama queen rtf....links in sig
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