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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
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| View Poll Results: What's Your Opinnion? | |||
| This Was Dope |
  
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2 | 100.00% |
| You Whack Stick To Battles.... |
  
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0 | 0% |
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03-06-05, 10:57 PM
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#1
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Break Up [Part-One]
IP: 93C0 D1DD
Listen.....Girl It's Bin A While, So I Got To Say We're Over I'm Still Ya Friend, Incase You Ever In Need Of A Shoulder I'm Sorry Girl For All The Bad Things I've Put You Through If I Knew This Would Happen,I Would Never Get With You It's Not About The Fight Arguments Nothing Like That Girl In Fact From The Begining You Was My Whole Wide World This Situation Is A Mess, You Know I Can't Deal With It Ay Maybe It'll Get Better, Untill Then I Pray For That One Day I Would Of Never Thought It Would End With You Leaving At First We Was Good, You WAS My Reason For Breathing But Now It Seems Like, We Split Apart Like The Contenent You'd Never Understand How Hard It Is An What Ya Meant My Days Go By Slow....Thinking Of What We Could Of Had Now That Your Gone I Feel Like Usher Oh How I Got It Bad I Spend My Nights Thinking Of You And What Went Wrong This Poem Is What I'm Sending To You Girl It's Bin To Long
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03-06-05, 11:04 PM
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#2
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Gone
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IP: F481 593E
Good Piece Cus Nice And Even Bars It Wass A Lil Basic And Didn't Really Have Vocab But You Got Potential...................
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"I'll Stay Asleep As Long As I Can Have You Right Here In My Dreams'' -R.Kelly  |
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03-06-05, 11:34 PM
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#3
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IP: 93C0 D1DD
Thank You Man Upping This
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03-07-05, 11:28 AM
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#4
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Odi et Amo
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IP: 4C92 D160
Okay okay, this type of poem has been done so many times before but I still enjoy reading them because of the pure emotion. Found good balance with your vocab, not too much imagery. You said everthing just how it is, sort of "in your face", bold attitude. Next time, try to get some different levels in your poems, describe them in a more mysterious way so the reader has to think what you are saying in fact.
But this stuff has potential for sure, should've added a 3rd possibilty cause those two are kinda extremes lolz but since I'm such a sweet girl I'll say 'dope'  . Just keep going and you'll get better for sure...Keep at it!DQ
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Authentik Intelligence  ...The future is mine... |
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03-07-05, 06:01 PM
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#5
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IP: 93C0 D1DD
Thanks Weerd It's Only My THird One
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03-18-05, 11:36 PM
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#6
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IP: 93C0 D1DD
Bump Bump Bump Bumpp!!!!!
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