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Old 03-09-05, 02:29 PM   #1
convicted
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Lightbulb damaged by anger

IP: 995C FBA1

im so tiered of bein pssed off i dont care if i make you mad im
kickin myself in tha ass for not beatin tha fuck out of my dad
if i ever come across tha mothafucka agian he better
be prepared ta swing back......if he ever wants ta see tha light of day i hope he can run fast.....
cocksucker ran out on us cuz he couldnt raze his own 2 kids he
left my mother ta deal with his deut i cant wait ta meet him agian
my so called life has been nothin but regret an sin cuz of him
i wanted ta charish moments in my life but thanks to him i cant
couldnt see it comin look it were im at.....told me (id amount ta nothin
your another piece of crap just like your mother then he'ed laught there was few times i went a little crazy
grabed tha 22 of tha shelf thinkin i could solve slavery
but i knew it ed involve doin time ,majorly
rottin a 5 by 7 cell not a prison or a jail
id be dieing of my own will............................CB83 I WAS BORDE

my worlds been corupted tha goverment can shuv it
theres no hideing behind tha truth an theres nothin me or you can say or ever do.....
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Old 03-09-05, 03:35 PM   #2
villagepimp
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6/10

Great display of emotion I appreciate people who can encorporate that kind of fury in their open mics.

Work on your multi schemes and structure... keep writin' yo...

Return tha favor on my open mic "You Don't Know Me"
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SPuL
^dude it's poetic, what did you expect? He believed his ex still loved him after cheating on him with 9 guys and 1 girl.

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Old 03-09-05, 09:55 PM   #3
Speats
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yo this was better than usual,your elevating man,now heres what you need to do:
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

sentenses like that...and then its gonna be more good and fun to read,only advice,good drop man
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Old 03-09-05, 10:08 PM   #4
Kamikazee
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Pretty good verse homie good wordplay and good flow but u need to work on ur structure u showed some heart and emotion in dis peace........8/10 Pz RTF link in sig
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Old 03-09-05, 11:57 PM   #5
convicted
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Appreciate Tha Feed Bac Ill Be Sure Ta Do Tha Same
Tha Poetic Side Is From My Heart /my Rap Is Another Side To Me Thats
I Was Givein From Tha Start............cb83
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