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Old 03-09-05, 11:28 PM   #1
convicted
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Question Simple Message

IP: 2AF4 5C39

i structurized my rhymes
memorize every line
i spit it one word at a time
i was gifted with a confused mind
i was lifted by rap music that pulled me behind
theres nothin different between me an tha rest that i can find
pain many have been through..... why must i rewind
every word when i speaks tha truth
why are people so blind an stupid wat isnt true is
that they see we tha ones whos ruthless but we
gathered together white an black it dont matter tha weather
tha stars an strips is ta make ya feel better
isnt our country great ta lie to our face when ever
its business should have knowin this in tha first place
when my pen runs outta ink
i smoke a few joints sit back an drink
this shits wack but it makes a point i think
if ya dont relax your shits bound ta stink
welcom to tha next round dont look down move or blink
forty seconds ta spit it
no recelections KO's is how ta get it
first round dont sweet it
you must attend church or did ya get elected
i aint playin pretend boy check it....
you out here ta make a friend cuz you lonely homeboy
in tha sentence there's a message did ya get
ahhh just wat i thought you wasnt payin attenction...........PEACE HOLLA
BACK CB83
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Old 03-09-05, 11:34 PM   #2
thaend4ya
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ya rhymes pretty cool man keep it up i like it
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Old 03-09-05, 11:35 PM   #3
thaend4ya
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damn man u didnt get no feed back or nuthin
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Old 03-09-05, 11:36 PM   #4
thaend4ya
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oh well.....................holla at cha!
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Old 03-09-05, 11:41 PM   #5
The Militant
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ya bite this shit from eminems song mosh


Scrutinize every word, memorize every line
I spit it once, refuel, reenergize, and rewind
I give sight to the blind, mind sight through the mind
I excersize my right to express when I feel it's time
It's just all in your mind, what you interpret it as
I say to fight you take it as I? gonna whip someone's ass
If you don't understand don't even bother to ask
A father who has grown up with a fatherless past
Who has blown up now to rap phenomenon that has
Or at least shows no difficulty multi task
And juggling both, perhaps mastered his craft slash
Entrepreneur who has held long too few more rap acts
Who has had a few obstacles thrown his way through the last half
Of his career typical manure moving past that
Mister kiss his ass crack, he's a class act
Rubber band man, yea he just snaps back



To the people up top, on the side and the middle,
Come together, let's all bomb and swamp just a little
Just let it gradually build, from the front to the back
All you can see is a sea of people, some white and some black
Don't matter what color, all that matters is we gathered together
To celebrate for the same cause, no matter the weather
If it rains let it rain, yea the wetter the better
They ain't gonna stop us, they can't, we're stronger now more then ever,
They tell us no we say yea, they tell us stop we say go,
Rebel with a rebel yell, raise hell we gonna let em know
Stomp, push up, mush, fuck Bush, until they bring our troops home come on just . . .

Imagine it pouring, it's raining down on us,
Mosh pits outside the oval office
Someone's trying to tell us something, maybe this is God just saying
we're responsible for this monster, this coward, that we have empowered
This is Bin Laden, look at his head nodding,
How could we allow something like this, Without pumping our fist
Now this is our, final hour
Let me be the voice, and your strength, and your choice
Let me simplify the rhyme, just to amplify the noise
Try to amplify the times it, and multiply it by six
Teen million people are equal of this high pitch
Maybe we can reach Al Quaida through my speech
Let the President answer on high anarchy
Strap him with AK-47, let him go
Fight his own war, let him impress daddy that way
No more blood for oil, we got our own battles to fight on our soil
No more psychological warfare to trick us to think that we ain't loyal
If we don't serve our own country we're patronizing a hero
Look in his eyes, it's all lies, the stars and stripes
They've been swiped, washed out and wiped,
And Replaced with his own face, mosh now or die
If I get sniped tonight you'll know why, because I told you to fight
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Old 03-09-05, 11:58 PM   #6
The Militant
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man why did ya bite lyrics....real emcees dont need to do that and if u do bite dont off eminem the most well known emcee
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Old 03-12-05, 10:15 PM   #7
A_M_H
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well ova then u bitin' em's rhymes a lil bit at the beginning u did ight in ur open mic...structure was ok...vocab was ight need a lil more elevation...work on ur wordplay...& overall i would say it'z 6.5/10 keep workin at it & u'll b at ur potential ya dig
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