Check.

Let me tell the story of a child with a rough exterior
Fiery to the core so no theres no doubt she's superior
Always near to her, skin reflecting stars and comets
But her children were shallow and scared, rather comic
How they found a lust for money and whored their mother
A cry for help but she found no help from her brothers
Stayed spinning their own paths, concerned wit orbit
So blows scarred her soul she's forced to absorb it
Destroying her perfect features, can't find the light
Her foes explosive in nature kinda like dynamite
Chemical warfare deforms her face she defines it
As a visible form of violence prescribed by tyrants
But her soul was tainted by all the propaganda
Tries to commission her affliction thru multiple stanzas
But poets recoiling, trying to focus more on standards
And never feeling, forever reeling, rejecting the mantra
She tried a renaissance but it was pointless evolution
Coz man answered with an industrial revolution
Restitution in its most horrific and specific format
The whole world turned on her, what shud I call that?
Coz betrayal dates back to that of Adam and Eve
But way before that was all this damage perceived
Fated by the stars, apparently created by such
Even the force of gravity is her relation to touch
But her children were pilgrams obsessed by greed
And they whored her again the second she's freed
Shackles strapped and trapped this girl felt hollow
The tide had turned, spents seasons depictin sorrow
Her tears swept shores with the force of tsunamis
She hated tyranical nations and of corse all the armies
A few millenia young, dont wona make the panic worse...
But the baby you've destroyed was and is Planet Earth...

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really good piece, i thought, i knew what you were talking about fromt the get go, but you played it out really nice, good vocab and wordplay made it real enjoyable to read, good flow, structure okay....metas were good, "Her tears swept shores with the force of tsunamis"....loved that line....this was a great piece, althought i had one problem....the way you put the adam and eve story in there, then began talking about theories of evolution and what not...because in the bible, got created the world, and stars and what not., but you mentioned "was this all predicted before"....there was no before.....so, yeah, thought that line was contradictory, but the rest was good....keep up

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YOU MOTHERFUCKER I JUST UPPED MY SHIT 5 SECONDS AGO... NOW GO UP MY SHIT YOU OWE IT TO ME

lol..........haha i hate that shit....anyways...thanks for the feed kesse....uppin...

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boring..........boring........Yawn.......boring

its a fuckin open mic...you want excitement, go look for some elephants to fuck...

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Dis was an iight verse here good flow good wordplay.....i was feelin it da hole way threw it was a good verse to read....i would give it a 7/10.......~1~ RTF in my new OM

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Kamikazee

[B][CENTER]Tha Truth

not for that half assed feedback.....

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