RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 03-21-05, 03:28 AM   #1
Mentor
a.k.a prozak
 
Mentor's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,177
Joined: Dec 2004
From: your walkman
Status: Offline
Text Record: 6-11
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
Exclamation The Criminal Act

IP: 8E7F 1337

tried committing rape and got caught on tape
quick jumped up and ran through a fire escape
cops swarming, stopped and gave me a warning
got followed by the tricks dodging the hollow tips
one of the pigs trip, the rest all go down and slip
gotta get a grip and i dont wanna get my ass whipped
so let me adjust this font as i run through a restaraunt
just spilt someone's crab croussant jesus what ya want!?
gunz fired,turned around hit the ground jumped up & ran like fuck
this fat bitch panicked ran through the doorway, nearly got stuck
got out the back nearly getting hit by a moving truck
more shots fire, i duck got back up and ran through mud
got shot, now my legs leaking blood but i'm not bout ta give up
my cars all the way at the car lot so i run to the bus stop
didnt get ta look at the clock the bus came round the block
got low while we move too slow and had him put it 2 the flo'
been quiet for a while the pigs musta lost me from a half a mile
AH FUCK someone yelled 911 and ta push dial while i'm in denile
not knowin where ta go i quickly jump out of the moving window
sprained my wrist, cut open my fist, and now its startin ta mist
i'm startin ta get pissed they fired more shotz and just missed
ran through a Stop-The-Violence rally and went through an alley
shit!!..it was a dead end, im trapped turned around & got CAPPED
Send a message via AIM to Mentor Send a message via MSN to Mentor   Reply With Quote
Old 03-21-05, 03:34 AM   #2
Mentor
a.k.a prozak
 
Mentor's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,177
Joined: Dec 2004
From: your walkman
Status: Offline
Text Record: 6-11
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 8E7F 1337

uppin..........
Send a message via AIM to Mentor Send a message via MSN to Mentor   Reply With Quote
Old 03-21-05, 07:27 AM   #3
K-------O
New to RV
 
Posts: 16
Joined: Mar 2005
Status: Offline
Text Record: 1-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: CD98 49E3

was a good drop there man.

Was likin the vocab and good rhymes. Nice structure and flow all the way thru it.

Good use of topic that made a good read, nice ending too.

"so let me adjust this font as i run through a restaraunt
just spilt someone's crab croussant jesus what ya want!?" -This was a really good bar, that stuck out. There was more good but this was baddd
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-21-05, 08:45 AM   #4
Tremendous
Aiming for Heads
 
Tremendous's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,544
Joined: Jan 2005
Status: Offline
Audio Record: 2-1
IP: 0825 899A

Good imagery but i think there should be more into the introduction....the story was good... I had good imagery from it at it kept me interested which is nice..
__________________
www.myspace.com/geraldmorgan
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-21-05, 08:48 AM   #5
Mentor
a.k.a prozak
 
Mentor's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,177
Joined: Dec 2004
From: your walkman
Status: Offline
Text Record: 6-11
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 8E7F 1337

yo thanx for the feed i'm still uppin ya'll
Send a message via AIM to Mentor Send a message via MSN to Mentor   Reply With Quote
Old 03-21-05, 10:37 AM   #6
Mentor
a.k.a prozak
 
Mentor's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,177
Joined: Dec 2004
From: your walkman
Status: Offline
Text Record: 6-11
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 8E7F 1337

uppin on this shit too
Send a message via AIM to Mentor Send a message via MSN to Mentor   Reply With Quote
Old 03-21-05, 07:53 PM   #7
Mentor
a.k.a prozak
 
Mentor's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,177
Joined: Dec 2004
From: your walkman
Status: Offline
Text Record: 6-11
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 8E7F 1337

i'm muthafuckin uppin
Send a message via AIM to Mentor Send a message via MSN to Mentor   Reply With Quote
Old 03-22-05, 02:01 AM   #8
Mentor
a.k.a prozak
 
Mentor's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,177
Joined: Dec 2004
From: your walkman
Status: Offline
Text Record: 6-11
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 8E7F 1337

uppin............
Send a message via AIM to Mentor Send a message via MSN to Mentor   Reply With Quote
Old 03-22-05, 01:21 PM   #9
Mentor
a.k.a prozak
 
Mentor's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,177
Joined: Dec 2004
From: your walkman
Status: Offline
Text Record: 6-11
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 8E7F 1337

god damn it this shit need feed
Send a message via AIM to Mentor Send a message via MSN to Mentor   Reply With Quote
Old 03-22-05, 01:23 PM   #10
~Tony Green~
~Real Rookie Of The Year~
 
~Tony Green~'s Avatar
 
Posts: 2,008
Joined: Feb 2005
From: Trigga Town
Status: Offline
IP: 0825 899A

it was nice Hood keep working on structure nice vocab nice wordplay it was hot liked the imagination. 8/10

btw repay the favor links in sig damn shit is startin to get slept on these days.
__________________


Send a message via MSN to ~Tony Green~ Send a message via Yahoo to ~Tony Green~   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:24 AM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.