I was thinking the other day about fate and future
The day destiny comes back to shoot ya, it moves ya
To think action begets thought, begets movement
Regrets proven to rise through, fortelling the doom, and
Imagine one step one gets ahead of one's self, then some
Well worded prophecy wells up to shelf, belief and dumb-
Founded profound intent, grounded intense rounds of fence-ing
Stabbing life with the double-edge sword, it's interest-ing
Distancing the mortals from the Lords, of the ring like Benzene
Boring scenes pour springs of poisoning, boy I'm blend-ing
Into the rendering, of my life's perception, it's deception
Conception of one's direction..no less than blunt injection
Of lie serum, the truth lies in the mirror, my eyes the bearer
No nearer to the path I see..grasp history and share her
I'm blown away by the possibility of cause and effect
One simple step can cause a wreck, which affects the rest
Causing death to rest in the palm of chance, I palm a lance
And fling it in throngs, supplant the wrong pomp and stance
Calm the rants and the ravings, time waits for no cravings
The long arm stretches meticulous, ridiculous hating
Insidious hideous raging, against the machine I'm played
Where I am made possible by past wades through swamp things
These words overtake me, maybe I'm done with logic
Herodotus teaching my new project, and I aint talkin' homage
The heart check atriums dump valves systematically
Not a day go by I don't ask, "What's the matter with me"?



Uh!

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer up

dayum Q i see why you are mad about not having any feedback i do believe this is my first time in open mic and i now regret it being so...i was actually really impressed with this it all came together really well...

I'm blown away by the possibility of cause and effect
One simple step can cause a wreck, which affects the rest

this sortah made me think of the chaos thoery and butterfly effect...like i said impressive...
if you would like mor e feedback pm me i'll get more extensive on it but like i said first time...

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HITS

DaTruth29 [~*Lady Fiya*~] shake-spear Trooper Nova

hmm.. the beggenin i was feeling.. but when u start to split the words "fenc-ing", i didnt liek it was much... and when the words started getting to big, it started to lose meanng to me.. it was decent i thought..but i guess im more of a simple man.. so my text feedbak might be a little rusty lol.. but i mean, do you..

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Proud OYD member again . <------- That is whassup

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http://community.rapverse.com/showt...ad.php?t=184368



^^Those are me links

appreciate the replies

about damn TIME...this wudda been the 3rd fuckin drop with ZERO replies

A'ight this was a pretty tight OM...good flow, good lyrics...vocab could be upped a lil' bit...but yeah this was good shit. Keep it up, we should do a collab on a Open Mic one time...return the favor, link is in the sig. "Losing the Battle"

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Soundclick
NEW Myspace

hmm thsi was good nice stucuture. vocab was ight but when you split up the words like fence-ing and shit i didnt like. the start of the verse was more better. compaired to the end you must off lost it and just wanted to drop early or somin i kinda do that sometimes. but damn i never really knew ya lyrics was that good. damn. nice flow shit i like this, 1

P.S Q take the wack ass avy out its annoying