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Old 03-27-05, 11:48 PM   #1
Terumoto
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lmao... fuckin smartass

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The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic(absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law(gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, Let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2) If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year, "....that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having an affair with her, then #2 above cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze over."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
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Old 03-27-05, 11:51 PM   #2
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simple....yet...complex....
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Old 03-27-05, 11:55 PM   #3
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om my god, thay was my brothers paper, haha i know theresa
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Old 03-27-05, 11:58 PM   #4
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ROFL.. wow.. that was the easiest question to answer.. i prolly would have gotten a C because i would of just said exothermic.. but he had to get all fancy with his.. whorebag
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Old 03-28-05, 12:03 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phoenix
ROFL.. wow.. that was the easiest question to answer.. i prolly would have gotten a C because i would of just said exothermic.. but he had to get all fancy with his.. whorebag



^^^LOL WORD^^^
THATS WHAT I WOULD HAVE SAID
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Old 03-28-05, 12:07 AM   #6
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he is my idol for that shit
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Old 03-28-05, 12:10 AM   #7
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For the cats sayin you woulda one word answered it... it IS a university mid-term... aint some quiz...
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Old 03-28-05, 12:35 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by One M.B.
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic(absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law(gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, Let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2) If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year, "....that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having an affair with her, then #2 above cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze over."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"



I wanna have a conversation with that kid.
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Old 03-28-05, 12:37 AM   #9
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i seen this shit a while back, i was dying.
dude showed me, i was like, how is this a joke? then i seen the last paragraph. roflz
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Old 03-28-05, 12:42 AM   #10
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If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a Divine Being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God!"

That's the last part of the one I read.
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Old 03-28-05, 12:51 AM   #11
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that other last bit seems kinda fake... someone coulda just added it on
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Old 03-28-05, 12:52 AM   #12
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i would have answered "false" and moved on with my life
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Old 03-28-05, 12:55 AM   #13
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Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic(absorbs heat)?

False.

--------------------------

^^^??????
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Old 03-28-05, 12:58 AM   #14
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that piece was puuuuuure genius .... ya know we need a intellectuals forum
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Old 03-28-05, 01:01 AM   #15
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yup...when in doubt, answer "false"
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