All the color is gone, and life's precious luster lacks in lavish supplies,
an abundance of memories angered bees running wild in my skull, all the lies.
Raising my hands to night skies, so the wise can prophecize my palm lines,
my path illuminated by the creatures of earth, my ethereal guides the fireflies.
Synchronized, bulbs of light swimming in the infinite dark hue of the eternal night.
Each twirl and swirl across the world, banishing my grief; they banish my fright.
Even when they fly away from me, and I follow them, they turn left but it's still right.
I'd come out in my lawn, when I'm all alone and every where I turn is not my home.
Darkness shrouds my soul but has aurora, my hollow shell bright with chrome.
Now I come out from my house and its sadness, to the only friends I've ever known.
This loneliness to which I am prone is gone now, the sky's tears wetting my brow.
Even in rain, my pals still will come out to see me, dancing like only they know how.
In my nocturnal state, I'd lay for them in wait, outside as long as time would allow.
Now, my tears are masked from the cool snowflakes landing on my sullen cheeks.
I'd sit there, sobbing nightly waiting for my only companions every day, every week.
Dying inside, waiting for those who my secrets I could confide, I simply couldn't speak.
I wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep, until that time until they'd would show me new techniques.

Uppin'................

Uppin'. Come on, you people always sleep on good pieces.

This was good, i liked the concept, you had a lot to say, good vocabulary and your descriptions of your surroundings set the tone, i could picture some of this, dope, keep dropping.1

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"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI"

O Y D

*FluidMusic*


*Poetic Scriptures Moderator*

Thanks. Mean a lot to me.

Uppin'.........

this was pretty nice

u need some major help in ya structure

and some of ya words were kinda jus thrown in there
2 fill in the linez....but you had nice imagery

nice lil drop here kid

g luck in our battle

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Thanks. People need to friggin' learn to vote... <<

very good
this was very engrossing...it got me then held me there...ur word were well placed casted pefectly thru most of the piece...i felt like i was reading a classick novel like
"on the road" by jack keruak(misspelled) or animal farm by eric blaire a.k.a. goerge orwell...what i mean is...u set the seen and by the end of it i had a vivid picture in my mind accompanied by a sobbering thought

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