Game Survival Guide –

First Person Shooters –
Firstly, never question the similarities between every single one of these games. If you happen to notice that half of them are about WW2, a quarter are about modern day soldier-ism, and the rest are set in the future sometime, then you won’t have a good time playing them. Always pick up everything you see, because you might need it. And since its so easy carrying 12 different weapons, including a rocket launcher of sort, using only the clothes you have on, this should be no trouble.

It gets more difficult as the game progresses. By more difficult, I mean there are either more things to kill, or some stupid pussy scientist or medic or something that has to follow you around and can’t die.

Don’t worry about dying, because you can run into a room full of enemies and get shot to fuck with no consequences, as long as you find a Med-Pack. Med-Packs are pretty cool, in that no matter how many times you’ve been shot, set on fire, or exploded, a few bandages and some iodine can fix you up good as new.

If a thin wooden door is locked, look for other means of passage. Since your rocket launcher can only destroy helicopters, tanks, or amazing alien gunships, you shouldn’t try to get past a locked door by shooting it. That would be stupid.

Role Playing Games (RPGs) –
These games are quite varied. They range from the inner struggle of a pointy haired kid, to the inner struggle of a non-pointy haired kid, all the way to long romps about a character that has little to no dialogue.

The first thing you have to know about RPG worlds, is that the people don’t do dick. No townsmen have jobs, all they do is walk around in a circle or up and down all day. They are always in trouble from some sort of evil that ONLY YOU can destroy. Trying to talk to them results in things like “Please help us, traveling warrior!” or “If only someone could save us…”

If you are not in a town, you are subject to being attacked by animals that that have weird names and are fucked up colors, such as mega swamp rats (purple), or Surf-turtles (blue). Notice, that none of these monsters are the same as the ones in other parts of the world. The foreign monsters are completely unique, having names like mega bog-rat (green), or cave-turtle (grey). The longer an enemies name is, the more of a dangerous foe it will be. You have no trouble handling fire horses, but handling south burning unicorn death killer fire horses is a different story.

Also, take note that only important people get names. If you want to hear about someone cry about the weather, or how their son went to war, talk to the guy called TOWNSMAN that is walking up and down in the court yard. If you want to find an elves Mythril dagger of Manzibar, talk to Arimazeius Proddletroy, who can be found on Mt. Doomicus.

You must be aware of the things that will stop your journey. Since your character is only capable of creating amazing giant vortexes of doom, and spawning huge demons from hell, he definitely WILL NOT be able to continue if a slightly large rock happens to block his path. And if a 6 inch deep river or an old sleeping man is in your way, you may as well strangle yourself then and there.

Side quests are completely and utterly necessary. If you don’t help that kid catch 10 lizards, or you don’t go around finding pointless items to save a dysfunctional married couple, then you may miss out on items. The rewards you could get are a piece of armor you already have, or some gay ass useless item like the “cracked mirror” or the “stylish feather.” Upon examining these items you gain enlightening information like “A mirror… It appears to be cracked.” and “A feather of stylish origin. It reminds me of something…”

Fighting Games –
Never use the girls, they always suck. There is always only 3-5 decent characters, the rest are pussies, so don’t bother with them. To unlock new shit characters, all you need to do is play arcade mode by using a kick ass character that has one move that kicks everyone’s ass and use that move over and over again. For the games that require you to finish arcade mode with different characters, find one cheap ass move and use it a lot.

Whenever you complete the game with a character, you will find out a little bit more about them, in form of a scrolling monologue, or a CG sequence. This obviously means that the fighting game has an incredibly deep storyline, since you’ve finished the game and seen Hwoarang do some kicks, or Jin yell. And it is the pinnacle of supreme amazing stories when Nina puts on lipstick. The way it makes you walk away thinking “...eh?” must obviously mean the characters background is too deep for you. ESPECIALLY if Eddie gets out of a car and wears a suit.

To be good at these games, simply press a lot of buttons while twirling your thumb around the directional pad. Or if you want to easily win, you could do a corkscrew mantis exploding back kick, simply by pressing down left down right right right up left down X right left right left *wait* left up down square circle square square down X Square right up left *wait* up down right right right right right triangle. Since we can all do that with ease, these games pose no challenge at all.

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^ hahah, that was pretty good, i liked the part in FPS about the doors, that made me chuckle....ahh, you play all these games omb?

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i dont like them role playing games

but it was a pretty good thread ta read, propps too ya

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no sports games?! WTF?!?! Thats all I play.... damn. Maybe I should add onto this...

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Go for it

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Boxin games kickass....
an what sorta game is san andreas? like what ''genre'' of games LOL..
Yall know what i mean...

sports game kickass tho, boxin, football, an b'ball games of course, they runs it!

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Goldeneye 64>>>>>>>>>>>>>>all games, werd

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R.I.P. EAZY-E

Oh shit ^^^
Goldeneye was a classic...so addictive too...an it was one of those games ya could sit an play with ya boys for hours!!!

what about the NBA Street Games??? i love the tricks an the game play on NBA Street..

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