Living in a world that I don’t recognize standing in a paralyzed position with not many loved ones to mention. Facing a cold terror of abuse tired of being neglected and used, so I ran for my fundamental recovery and found that the things that were once my love became my hate. No longer indulging time into destroying my feelings, now awaiting a long line to cast them out. Trying to erase memories of the overwhelmed emotions that have consumed everything I fought to escape. I hate, I hate, I wish I was never born, I was always rejected wanted nothing more then to die, so I could finally be accepted. Everything I have ever loved has been ripped away from me, destroyed, mangled, tainted, and oblivious all were. Nobody would ever know everything about me because very few have ever walked beside me. I wear a mask of many, don’t think I have peeled them all off. All grown up now and very confused having trouble focusing on what I want to do. My whole life has been rapped up in making every one proud while I was confined in temporary lock down, still at 24 years of age and they wonder why children run away. I shake my head, as I have to reunite with the people I hate on Thanksgiving night, I don’t give thanks to the ones who stole my pride away who use to tell me I would amount to nothing one day. People want to know why you hide your emotions through drugs and violence well let me tell you it’s because of the silence. You think someone tried to help me in the past while I talked to friends and neighbors through wired fences. No one cared ... My only dream was getting away but there was no escape. The only constant memory that kept me alive is the countless years that lessened every three hundred and sixty five. I don’t know how I pulled through each and every day, maybe the thought of my mother who lived far away, living for my brother and sister night and day. Later reunited with them at a later basis in my life, now I don’t know why I continued the constant fight, should have just ended my pitiful life. Everything I had looked forward to became a loss and for everything I had ever loved I paid a punishing cost. I fought everyday for my own self-esteem, love, respect and dignity. While everyday I was rapped of my own innocence and self worth. I was contaminated since birth, the bastard son without a mother to love him. My self-image that reflected every day became a worthless child that was wilted away.

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I am Here To Save You All