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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
05-03-05, 12:31 AM
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#1
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Back....
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Guilt
IP: E433 EE33
Ever have that time when you felt you were lower then dirt, Like you should be punished to live your life as if you were alone on a desert, Isolated from the world and the ones you care about the most, Left alone with only your thoughts containing all their ghosts, Feeling all the pain your mistakes have caused and facing reality, Dealing with the torture your thoughts alone put upon your own mentality, In my life I have made mistakes one after another, Spending a lifetime alone facing them isn’t enough for them to smother, They will always be there lurking within my mind, Sometimes I feel as if I’m undeserving making my heart feel confined, After doing something foolish I often ask myself why, A good reason for myself I can never supply, And the stupidity in myself I can never deny, My actions are always reactions to what I’m feeling at that time, Afterwards always having that mountain of guilt to climb, I have tasted many times the flavor of remorse, The guilt stays there no matter how far away the feeling you try to force, A slight impression will forever remain heavy on your heart, You only learn how to block it as your mind departs (moves on).
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05-03-05, 06:15 PM
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#2
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Back....
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IP: 45A3 A79F
uppin this shit.
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05-03-05, 09:11 PM
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#3
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Back....
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IP: 28B1 F3E4
yo upping this shit....
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05-04-05, 07:55 PM
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#4
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Poet's Daughter.
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IP: B5C0 F961
Alright, nice vocab. The flow was good. The emotion of this verse was Nice, and you add meta'z to make it better. The imaginary was good, using "as if" "like". I suggest to upp on your structure, but it was a nice peice. Keep writing.
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mystery Is a Freak!! ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life. Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8 ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do. Smartone Freal:  ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged* |
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05-08-05, 07:56 AM
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#5
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Odi et Amo
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IP: C9A2 1C80
Good concept right here with very strong and raw emotion. Vocabulary was excellent, found nice balance between basic and complex. Imagery was great, some things in there made me stand still and think about it for a little while. Nice piece, enjoyed reading it!
 Ending was my favorite part: I have tasted many times the flavor of remorse, The guilt stays there no matter how far away the feeling you try to force, A slight impression will forever remain heavy on your heart, You only learn how to block it as your mind departs (moves on).
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Authentik Intelligence  ...The future is mine... |
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05-10-05, 03:27 PM
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#6
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<<-Carpe Noctum->>
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IP: 28AD 5545
you have a great writing style, and i like the vocabulary, the emotion was present in your vivid words, i think this piece is something that we can relate too, good shit..1
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"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" O Y D   *FluidMusic* *Poetic Scriptures Moderator* |
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05-14-05, 09:43 PM
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#7
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Yes you.
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IP: 5285 DC82
nice repping fam!!
up^
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Im A Throwback |
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